Friday, 14 August 2009
News, Views and Music Issue 40 (Top Five): AAA TV Stations We'd Most Like To See
♫ And so welcome once again to our top five. This week we’ve come up with the five television channels that AAA members would most like to change:
5) Dave Deja Vu: When I first saw this in the TV listings I couldn’t believe it – surely this could be no other than Dave Crosby who wrote the very magical song Deja Vu’? Well, sadly it isn’t, it’s just an excuse for more old comedy programmes that don’t sell enough on dvd to make money, but just picture it – 24 hours of old Byrds/CSNY/solo clips. The ratings would sour. Possibly.
4) Santana Sports – No wonder this channel went bust – 24 hours of footballer players grooving to ‘soul sacrifice’ (or ‘penalties’ as its better known) whilst passing the ball to a centre-forward guitarist who just doesn’t know when to stop noodling!
3) Beatle Broadcasting Corporation: 24 hours of Beatle videos, a little like MTV. But better because the Spice Girls aren’t on it every other minute (yep, that will tell you how long ago I last saw MTV!)
2) CSN News: 24-hour scrolling news channel. Well, how else are we meant to keep up to date with whose fallen out with who in the CSNY camp? And, as a bonus, they’d be showing episodes of CSNY: Laurel Canyon as well (I reckon David McCallum as Graham Nash, what do you think?)
1) Lucy On The Sky News Hour With Diamond Logo: The psychedelic news channel for people who think the ‘other’ news station is just too ‘far out’. Picture yourself on a boat on a river, with plasticine newsmen with looking-glass ties. Suddenly someone is there at the turnstiles, the weathergirl with kaleidoscope eyes. Newspaper reports of yellow and green towering over your head. Look for the page three girl with The Sun in your eyes and you’re gone.
That’s it for another week, dear viewers, see you next time!