Friday 6 August 2010

News, Views and Music Issue 70 (Top Five) Things To Put In Our AAA Time Capsule

Assuming you’re not one of those readers who’ve skipped straight to the ‘good bit’ (as we’ll modestly call our series of frank and deeply unusual top five round-ups), you’ll have read above about the John Lennon time capsule due for opening on the musician’s birthday on October 9th 2040. This got us thinking. What will you and I be doing in 30 years’ time? We often make jokes about time travel on our pages (apart from our April Fool’s day editions, which are deadly serious, oh yes they are) but 30 years’ time seems uncomfortably close. By our reckoning, we’ll have just about finished covering every single AAA-related album by 2040 – assuming, of course, that no new groups are added to our list in the interim and that no more records are brought out (so, in other words, it’ll probably be more like 2050 by the time we get there). Who knows where this site will be in 30 years’ time – the most viewed music website of all, perhaps, which has helped nurture a return to classic music and an interest among fans who aren’t even born yet – or a completely forgotten unlisted site on a computer server that should be in a museum.Answers on a postcard... But one thing we do know is that we’ll keep this site going for as long as humanly possible – though just in case we can’t manage that here’s a note to our future selves/readers about what we in 2010 want to place in our own patent pending Alan’s Album Archives Time Capsule...

5) Our website. You know, ‘Alan’s Album Archives’, the thing you’re reading now, so if we’re still alive in 2040 we can compare how our opinions about music have changed (though I bet we’ll still hate the Spice Girls). We’re not quite sure how to do this – perhaps burying the server computer our site is loaded on (which, admittedly, might be a bit of a drag for the other users sharing it with their own sites), a complete computer print-out in an air-tight box or an animamaxatronic robot infused with the complete text of our website so far and able to spout any knowledge about any of the indexed albums at the press of a button. Hmm, that’ll probably do. We’ll call him Max the spouting robot for short. Now where can I find ‘mad scientists’ in the yellow pages?!

4) Our Youtube Video(s). Ooh yes we’ve got more on that to tell you. We’ve made two Youtube Videos advertising the site, one of which is ready to see at: (Only special guests can see it at the moment but, well, you’re all my special guests!) Regular readers will know exactly what to expect: A singing dog with a cane, a drunken canine with a bottle of Baileys, a bear whose head swivels, a guest appearance by a dalek and a Clandusprod alien from the Zigorous Three galaxy! Well, you try and sum up in 10 minutes how mad this site can be sometimes – suffice to say there’s also some great music (courtesy of the Stones this time around) and a dig at the Spice Girls, just so you’ll know it really was me making it. Please leave a comment and a rating if you view it or Max and Bingo will get very upset. We’ll tell you more about the second, rather more normal, video next week (if we can ever get it loaded – we got as far as 97% the other night after two hours of staring at the screen, only to lose our connection! Grr!)

3) A copy of Brian Wilson’s ‘Smile’. Well, I’ll probably have worn out my copy by then and with luck there should be a whole range of ‘anniversary sets’ out by 2040 celebrating both Brian’s final version and the Beach Boys’ scattered original. As we’ve said on this site many times, if you ever need to convince a wayward relation or nagging friend of the power of music to lighten your soul and shed a light on humanity’s problems, this is the album you need to play to them first. And if that doesn’t work, try any of the other 100 albums from our ‘core’ list! And just in case anything bad ever happens to our planet (you know, in 2012) we have to preserve humanity’s greatest works for future generations. Even though the retro-caveman who digs our capsule up after a nuclear holocaust will have no means to play it and will probably just use the CD to bash his friend over the head with.

2) Our two AAA MP3 players, containing a sample (well, 3988 tracks, it’s a big sample) of what our staff were listening to back in 2010. This will probably puzzle historians who don’t know about our site greatly in 30 years’ time given that the technology dates from 2007 and the most recent music on either player dates from around 1989. Or at least, it will puzzle them until they actually play the MP3s and realize what classic, beautiful, delectable and downright staggeringly wonderful music they both have on them. Until I find some joker’s wiped my favourite tracks and replaced them with the Spice Girls. Hmm, I’d better add 30 years’ worth of charge if I ever do get this time capsule together...

1) The Spice Girls, just to remind ourselves about what passed for music in what will be known as the ‘missing’ musical years of 1990-2010, who by our reckoning will be in their early 70s by 2040 (and we can guarantee that Emma Bunton will still be trading under the name ‘Baby Spice’). Buried alive preferably. Along with every copy of ‘Wannabe’ so that the universe will never have to hear it again during the next 30 years. Something that, we’re sure, will be heartily encouraged by every tramp given a kung-fu kick by Scary Spice.  

Well, time seems to have run out on us again, be sure to tune in next time for issue 71 of ‘News, Views and Music’. Happy reading, happy listening and happy rocking! 

A NOW COMPLETE List Of Top Five/Top Ten/TOP TWENTY  Entries 2008-2019
1) Chronic Fatigue songs

2) Songs For The Face Of Bo

3) Credit Crunch Songs

4) Songs For The Autumn

5) National Wombat Week

6) AAA Box Sets

7) Virus Songs

8) Worst AAA-Related DVDs

9) Self-Punctuating Superstar Classics

10) Ways To Know You Have Turned Into A Collector

11) Political Songs

12) Totally Bonkers Concept Albums

13) Celebrating 40 Years Of The Beatles' White Album

14) Still Celebrating 40 Years Of The Beatles' White Album

15) AAA Existential Questions

16) Releases Of The Year 2008

17) Top AAA Xmas Songs

18) Notable AAA Gigs

19) All things '20' related for our 20th issue

20) Romantic odes for Valentine's Day

21) Hollies B sides

22) 'Other' BBC Session Albums

23) Beach Boys Rarities Still Not Available On CD

24) Songs John, Paul and George wrote for Ringo's solo albums

25) 5 of the Best Rock 'n' Roll Tracks From The Pre-Beatles Era

26) AAA Autobiographies

27) Rolling Stones B-sides

28) Beatles B-Sides

29) The lllloooonnngggeesssttt AAA songs of all time

30) Kinks B-Sides

31) Abandoned CSNY projects 'wasted on the way'

32) Best AAA Rarities and Outtakes Sets

33) News We've Missed While We've Been Away

34) Birthday Songs for our 1st Anniversary

35) Brightest Album Covers

36) Biggest Recorded Arguments

37) Songs About Superheroes

38) AAA TV Networks That Should Exist

39) AAA Woodtsock Moments

40) Top Moments Of The Past Year As Voted For By Readers

41) Music Segues

42) AAA Foreign Language Songs

43) 'Other' Groups In Need Of Re-Mastering

44) The Kinks Preservation Rock Opera - Was It Really About The Forthcoming UK General Election?

45) Mono and Stereo Mixes - Biggest Differences

46) Weirdest Things To Do When A Band Member Leaves

47) Video Clips Exclusive To Youtube (#1)

48) Top AAA Releases Of 2009

49) Songs About Trains

50) Songs about Winter

51) Songs about astrology plus horoscopes for selected AAA members

52) The Worst Five Groups Ever!

53) The Most Over-Rated AAA Albums

54) Top AAA Rarities Exclusive To EPs

55) Random Recent Purchases (#1)

56) AAA Party Political Slogans

57) Songs To Celebrate 'Rock Sunday'

58) Strange But True (?) AAA Ghost Stories

59) AAA Artists In Song

60) Songs About Dogs

61) Sunshiney Songs

62) The AAA Staff Play Their Own Version Of Monoploy/Mornington Crescent!

63) What 'Other' British Invasion DVDs We'd Like To See

64) What We Want To Place In Our AAA Time Capsule

65) AAA Conspiracy Theroies

66) Weirdest Things To Do Before - And After - Becoming A Star

67) Songs To Tweet To

68) Greatest Ever AAA Solos

69) John Lennon Musical Tributes

70) Songs For Halloween

71) Earliest Examples Of Psychedelia

72) Purely Instrumental Albums

73) AAA Utopias

74) AAA Imaginary Bands

75) Unexpected AAA Cover Versions

76) Top Releases of 2010

77) Songs About Snow

78) Predictions For 2011

79) AAA Fugitives

80) AAA Home Towns

81) The Biggest Non-Musical Influences On The 1960s

82) AAA Groups Covering Other AAA Groups

83) Strange Censorship Decisions

84) AAA Albums Still Unreleased on CD

85) Random Recent Purchases (#2)

86) Top AAA Music Videos

87) 30 Day Facebook Music Challenge

88) AAA Documentaries

89) Unfinished and 'Lost' AAA Albums

90) Strangest AAA Album Covers

91) AAA Performers Live From Mars (!)

92) Songs Including The Number '100' for our 100th Issue

93) Most Songs Recorded In A Single Day

94) Most Revealing AAA Interviews

95) Top 10 Pre-Fame Recordings

96) The Shortest And Longest AAA Albums

97) The AAA Allstars Ultimate Band Line-Up

98) Top Songs About Sports

99) AAA Conversations With God

100) AAA Managers: The Good, The Bad and the Financially Ugly

101) Unexpected AAA Cameos

102) AAA Words You can Type Into A Caluclator

103) AAA Court Cases

104) Postmodern Songs About Songwriting

105) Biggest Stylistic Leaps Between Albums

106) 20 Reasons Why Cameron Should Go!

107) The AAA Pun-Filled Cookbook

108) Classic Debut Releases

109) Five Uses Of Bird Sound Effects

110) AAA Classic Youtube Clips Part #1

111) Part #2

112) Part #3

113) AAA Facts You Might Not Know

114) The 20 Rarest AAA Records

115) AAA Instrumental Songs

116) Musical Tarot

117) Christmas Carols

118) Top AAA Releases Of 2011

119) AAA Bands In The Beano/The Dandy

120) Top 20 Guitarists #1

121) #2

122) 'Shorty' Nomination Award Questionairre

123) Top Best-Selling AAA Albums

124) AAA Songs Featuring Bagpipes

125) A (Hopefully) Complete List Of AAA Musicians On Twitter

126) Beatles Albums That Might Have Been 1970-74 and 1980

127) DVD/Computer Games We've Just Invented

128) The AAA Albums With The Most Weeks At #1 in the UK

129) The AAA Singles With The Most Weeks At #1 in the UK

130) Lyric Competition (Questions)

131) Top Crooning Classics

132) Funeral Songs

133) AAA Songs For When Your Phone Is On Hold

134) Random Recent Purchases (#3)

135) Lyric Competition (Answers)

136) Bee Gees Songs/AAA Goes Disco!

137) The Best AAA Sleevenotes (And Worst)

138) A Short Precise Of The Years 1962-70

139) More Wacky AAA-Related Films And Their Soundtracks

140) AAA Appearances On Desert Island Discs

141) Songs Exclusive To Live Albums

142) More AAA Songs About Armageddon

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In honour of this week’s review of an album released to cash in on a movie soundtrack (only one of these songs actually appears in ‘Easy Rider’...and...

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154) The human singing voice carries with it a vast array of emotions, thoughts that cannot be expressed in any other way except opening the lungs and...

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Having a family does funny things to some musicians, as we’ve already seen in this week’s review (surely the only AAA album actually written around...

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159) A (Not That) Short Guide To The 15 Best Non-AAA Bands

160) The Greatest AAA Drum Solos (Or Near Solos!)

161) AAA Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall Of Fame Acceptance Speeches

162) AAA Re-Recordings Of Past Songs

163) A Coalition Christmas (A Fairy Tale)

164) AAA Songs About Islands

165) The AAA Review Of The Year 2012

166) The Best AAA Concerts I Attended

167) Tributes To The 10 AAA Stars Who Died The Youngest

168) The First 10 AAA Songs Listed Alphabetically

171) The 10 Best Songs From The Psychedelia Box-Sets ‘Nuggets’ and ‘Nuggets Two’

172) The 20 Most Common Girl’s Names In AAA Song Titles (With Definitions) 

180) First Recordings By Future AAA Stars

185) A Tribute To Storm Thorgerson Via The Five AAA Bands He Worked With

188) Surprise! Celebrating 300 Album Reviews With The Biggest 'Surprises' Of The Past Five Years Of Alan's Album Archives!

190) Comparatively Obscure First Compositions By AAA Stars

193) Evolution Of A Band: Comparing First Lyric With Last Lyric:

200) The Monkees In Relation To Postmodernism (University Dissertation)

202) Carly Simon's 'You're So Vain': Was It About One Of The AAA Crew?

217) AAA 'Christmas Presents' we'd most like to have next year

221) Dr Who and the AAA (Five Musical Links)

222) Five Random Recent Purchases

223) AAA Grammy Nominees

224) Ten AAA songs that are better heard unedited and in full

225) The shortest gaps between AAA albums

226) The longest gaps between AAA albums

227) Top ten AAA drummers

228) Top Ten AAA Singles (In Terms of 'A' and 'B' Sides)

229) The Stories Behind Six AAA Logos

230) AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!! The Best Ten AAA Screams

231) An AAA Pack Of Horses

232) AAA Granamas - Sorry, Anagrams!

233) AAA Surnames and Their Meanings

234) 20 Erroneous AAA Album Titles

235) The Best AAA Orchestral Arrangements

236) Top 30 Hilariously Misheard Album Titles/Lyrics

237) Ten controversial AAA sackings - and whether they were right

238) A Critique On Critiquing - In Response To Brian Wilson

239) The Ten MusicianS Who've Played On The Most AAA Albums

240) Thoughts on #CameronMustGo

241) Random Recent Purchases (Kinks/Grateful Dead/Nils Lofgren/Rolling Stones/Hollies) 

242) AAA Christmas Number Ones 

243) AAA Review Of The Year 2014 (Top Releases/Re-issues/Documentaries/DVDs/Books/Songs/ Articles  plus worst releases of the year)

244) Me/CFS Awareness Week 2015

245) Why The Tory 2015 Victory Seems A Little...Suspicious

246) A Plea For Peace and Tolerance After The Attacks on Paris - and Syria

247) AAA Review Of The Year 2015

248) The Fifty Most Read AAA Articles (as of December 31st 2015)

249) The Revised AAA Crossword!

251) Half-A-Dozen Berries Plus One (An AAA Tribute To Chuck Berry)

252) Guest Post: ‘The Skids – Joy’ (1981) by Kenny Brown

254) Guest Post: ‘Supertramp – Some Things Never Change’ by Kenny Brown

255) AAA Review Of The Year 2018

256) AAA Review Of The Year 2019 plus Review Of The Decade 2010-2019

257) Tiermaker

258) #Coronastock

259) #Coronadocstock

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