Monday 16 December 2013

Top Ten Sureallist AAA Song Lyrics (News, Views and Music 223)

Somebody asked me the other day why I only print some of the lyrics to each of my album reviews at the top of the page, rather than including the whole lot. There are a few reasons for this: one is that I don't to step on any of the toes of the fine lyric sites that are already out there (take a bow A-Z lyrics, Metro Lyrics and Sing 365 Lyrics, who have been invaluable on the few occasions an AAA album wasn't released with a lyric sheet - and if none of those three sites cover my song then I know I'm in trouble!) Another is copyright issues: as a reviewer I'm allowed to reprint around 20% of a lyric for the purposes of making a review. A third is space: yes, you did read that right, despite the fact that a lot of these articles seem to go on forever I don't want to push my luck by delaying you lot from reading the main review any more than I have to. So why quote from the lyrics at all then? Well, I like to give the 'first word' in any review to the people who wrote the album and by taking what I feel are 'key quotes' to ruminate over during the review readers might get a better sense what the heck I'm on about half the time. To quote from them verbatim would be boring, but to not quote from them at all would result in me trying to impose my opinions on an album without letting readers come to their own opinions first (even if you don't own any of the albums I review, hopefully you'll still get a 'flavour' from the lyrics I choose to quote from). Now, I don't think for one moment that all of you read every single quote religiously - most of you will know them well enough from the albums anyway - but it's there for anyone who wants it. Occasionally, though, there are some lyrics that are so downright weird, wacky and wonderful they deserve to be printed in full, so for this week I've chosen ten of my favourite did-they-really-just-say-that? lyrics and our potshot at what they might be on about. There are no real rules this week, only that I've stuck with just the one entry per artist (otherwise this list would just be full of 10cc and Syd Barratt songs!) By all means feel free to leave your own suggestions for strangest AAA song lyrics in our comments page, but remember 'I Am The Walrus' makes perfect sense in the interpretation we gave it in our review so I won't be accepting that one! ('Dig A Pony', however, is fair game). Oh and incidentally my favourite AAA opening lyric of all is still Cat Stevens' "100 I Dream": "They brang us up with horns and Hollywooden songs..." (what does that line mean?!)

1) Pink Floyd "Bike" (Piper At The Gates Of Dawn, 1967)

"I've got a bike. You can ride it if you like.
It's got a basket, a bell that rings and
Things to make it look good.
I'd give it to you if I could, but I borrowed it.
You're the kind of girl that fits in with my world.
I'll give you anything, everything if you want things.
I've got a cloak. It's a bit of a joke.
There's a tear up the front. It's red and black.
I've had it for months.
If you think it could look good, then I guess it should.
You're the kind of girl that fits in with my world.
I'll give you anything, everything if you want things.
I know a mouse, and he hasn't got a house.
I don't know why. I call him Gerald.
He's getting rather old, but he's a good mouse.
You're the kind of girl that fits in with my world.
I'll give you anything, everything if you want things.
I've got a clan of gingerbread men.
Here a man, there a man, lots of gingerbread men.
Take a couple if you wish. They're on the dish.
You're the kind of girl that fits in with my world.
I'll give you anything, everything if you want things.
I know a room of musical tunes.
Some rhyme, some ching. Most of them are clockwork.
Let's go into the other room and make them work"

I have seen some hilarious discussions of this song down the years - including my own no doubt! For some Syd Barratt is writing about his childhood here, to others his bicycle means 'freedom', an escape from problems at home, a few see 'Bike' as a dismissive sneer against the material world that only buys people 'things' and for others it's a sign of how mentally unstable he was even in his annalus mirabilus of 1967. As far as I'm concerned, this is Syd having fun, wanting to write something so totally outrageous and yet charming it even dispenses with a rhyming scheme and a rhythm ('Don't know why I call him Gerald!' is a line that comes completely out the blue when you first hear this song!) The ending - which loses a little something on the page but sounds tremendous on record - really is a room full of clockwork toys all chiming at once!

2) Jefferson Airplane "The Ballad Of You And Me And Pooneil" (After Bathing At Baxters, 1967)

"If you were a bird and you lived very high,
You'd lean on the wind when the breeze came by,
You'd say to the wind as it took you away,
That's where I wanted to go today"
And I do know that I need to have you around
Love like a mountain springtime,
flashing through the rivers of my mind;
it's what I feel for you.

You and me go walking south
And we see all the world around us,
The colours blind my eyes and my mind to all but you,
And I do know that I need to have you around,
And I do, I do know that I need to have you around.
I have a house where I can go
When there's too many people around me;
I can sit and watch all the people
Down below goin' by me;

Halfway down the stair is a stair
Where I sit and think around you and me;
But I wonder will the sun still see all the people goin' by.
Will the moon still hang in the sky when I die,
When I die, when I'm high, when I die?
If you were a cloud and you sailed up there,
You'd sail on water as blue as air,
You'd see me here in the fields and say,
"Doesn't the sky look green today?"

For my money the most psychedelic album I've ever heard is the Jefferson's third LP 'After Bathing At Baxters', even if it only just made the year of 1967 by a few weeks. Opening track 'Pooneil' sets out it's stall from the first, opening with a full minute of pounding, pulsating feedback before Paul Kantner's lyrics turn the whole world on it's head. Suddenly the skies are green, minds turn into rivers and the world is full of armadillos, with the strange title derived from one of Kantner's favourites AA Milne ('Pooneil' is a mixture of Winnie the Pooh and folk singer Freddy Neil: add in Lewis Carroll and a bucketload of LSD and you'll get a fair idea where this album is coming from with those influences). Taking in the illusions of the world, death, drug highs and loneliness, this is a tour de force that more than deserves to be read in full.

3) Simon and Garfunkel "Bookends" (1968)

"Wish I was a Kellogg's Cornflake
Floatin' in my bowl takin' movies,
Relaxin' awhile, livin' in style,
Talkin' to a raisin who 'casion'ly plays L.A.,
Casually glancing at his toupee.

Wish I was an English muffin
'Bout to make the most out of a toaster.
I'd ease myself down,
Comin' up brown.
I prefer boysenberry
More than any ordinary jam.
I'm a "Citizens for Boysenberry Jam" fan.

Ah, South California.

If I become a first lieutenant
Would you put my photo on your piano?
To Mary Jane--
Best wishes, Martin.
Old Roger draft-dodger
Leavin' by the basement door,
Everybody knows when he's
Tippy-toeing down that floor"

Paul Simon's slab of whimsy was deliberately written to lighten the load of fourth Simon and Garfunkel LP 'Bookends', a record about the aging process and death. 'Punky's Dilemma' is the single silliest thing Paul ever wrote, clearly fulfilling the role of 'Feelin' Groovy' from the previous album, and was inspired by the tune of a Kellogg's Cornflakes commercial (which the band used to 'accidentally' end up in during live performances). No one seems to have any idea who the real 'Punky' was (including his author), but keep an eye out for the last verse where Paul can't resist getting in a dig at the Vietnam war and draft dodgers...

4) The Small Faces "The Hungry Intruder" (Ogden's Nut Gone Flake" 1968)

"Here am I
Tiny Fly
May I share your Shepherd's Pie?
What is this strange voice I hear?

Here I am
Look This Way
In the landscape on your tray

There's no need to ask a silly question
If I were you I hope you'd do the same
There's no doubt I'd help a hungry fly
To see you in a fix it's really such a shame

I'm so hungry
I could die
And now I'll a living fly

My name is Stan
I'm on a quest
Take your fill,
Take nothing less

I am that
That am I
And now I'll be a living fly"

If you don't know the album then I bet this one's got you puzzled! The second side of 'Ogden's Nut Gone Flake' is a spoof concept album about 'Happiness Stan' on a 'quest' to find out why the moon has disappeared (Note the references to the moon disappearing in 'You and Me and Pooneil' above - was this an influence?!) Naturally Stan's friend in this quest is a humble fly who asks him to share his food in this song, resulting in a set of lyrics that out of context much surely make for one of the strangest songs ever written!

5) The Beatles "Happiness Is A Warm Gun" ('The White Album', 1968)

"She's not a girl who misses much
Do-do-do-do-do, oh yeah

She's well acquainted
With the touch of a velvet hand
Like a lizard on a window pane

Man in the crowd
With the multicoloured mirrors
On his hobnail boots

Lying with his eyes
While his hands are busy
Working overtime

The soap impression of his wife
Which he ate and donated
to the National Trust

I need a fix cause I'm going down
Down to the bits that I've left up town
I need a fix cause I'm going down

Mother Superior jumped the gun
Mother Superior jumped the gun
Mother Superior jumped the gun

Happiness is a warm gun
( bang bang shoot shoot )
Happiness is a warm gun, yes it is
(bang bang shoot shoot)

When I hold you in my arms (oh yes)
When I feel my finger on your trigger (oh yes)
I know nobody can do me no harm
happiness is a warm gun, momma
Happiness is a warm gun
-Yes it is.
Happiness is a warm, yes it is...
Well don't ya know that happiness is a warm, yes it is, gun!"

Lennon spent the second half of the Beatles' career being influenced by Yoko Ono's take on life - that anything can be art and that art doesn't necessarily have to make sense. Starting with 'I Am The Walrus' and ending up via 'Hey Bulldog' through 'Dig A Pony', many of Lennon's more successful songs are about how life is a nonsense and admitting it can set you free. 'Happiness' is arguably the weirdest. A free association game of wordplay, it's the closest Lennon ever came to getting his 'In His Own Write' punning wordplay and wit into a song lyric. The likeliest interpretation is that this is a love song to Yoko (who was nicknamed 'Mother' and occasionally 'Mother Superior' by Lennon, who really saw her as a replacement for his own mother Julia), written using her own love of wordplay. 'She's not a girl who misses much' may well be Lennon's single best tribute to his main muse, while Brian Epstein's assistant Alistair Taylor remembers word associating with Lennon for the last verse, taking pictures out of magazines at random. The man with 'multi-coloured mirrors' was real. for instance, and was fined for using them to look up girls' skirts as they passed by. The title phrase, however - that may refer to drugs or sex or both as well as violence - was inspired by a gun magazine that George Martin casually brought into a Beatles session one day, to the horror of Lennon (who like the other Beatles had just been lectured in India about the sacredness of life); legend has it the session was 'All You Need Is Love' which would make the event stick doubly in his mind. For an interpretation of the 'soap impression of his wife' lyric, though, you're on your own!

6) Grateful Dead "China Cat Sunflower" (Aoxomoxoa, 1969)

"Look for a while at the china cat sunflower,
Proud walking jingle in the midnight sun.
Copperdome bodhi drip a silver kimono,
Like a crazy quilt stargown through a dream night wind.

Crazy cat peekin through a lace bandanna,
Like a one-eyed cheshire, like a diamond-eye jack.
A leaf of all colours plays a golden-string fiddle,
To a double-e waterfall over my back.

Comic book colours on a violin river crying leonardo,
Words from out a silk trombone.
I rang a silent bell, beneath a shower of pearls,
In the eagle-winged palace of the queen chinee"

Oh the look on people's faces when they try to tackle this 12/8 time song on the game RockBand and end up falling prey to Jerry Garcia's horrifically complex time signature and Bob Hunter's wildest set of lyrics (and boy he wrote a few of these - I nearly included 'What's Become Of The Baby' from the same album, but that's too disturbing even for me!) 'China Cat Sunflower' is a real cat who has many colourful adventures (my guess is he's from the same litter as Pink Floyd's 'Lucifer Sam') before settling back to his quiet existence on earth. Absolutely bonkers. Beautiful poetry too of course (Hunter never wrote a bad lyric in his life), but still bonkers.

7) 10cc "I Wanna Rule The World!!!" (How Dare You!, 1976)

"I wanna be a boss
I wanna be a big boss
I wanna boss the world around
I wanna be the biggest boss
that ever bossed the world around

I wanna do it right
I wanna do it right away
I wanna do it right now
I wanna do it right away
I wanna do it now

Don't wanna be a dancer in the Bolshoi Ballet
Don't want to work for Daddy
In Daddy's shop, 0.K.

I get confused, so confused
I get a pain, I get a pain up here
In the Shirley Temples

What you gonna do
How you gonna do it
What you gonna do
How you gonna do it

Little by little, ooh ooh
Little by little, bit by bit

Sssh! Not too loud, don't tell everybody
Don't give away the game
Oooh, oooh,
I aint quite ready to reveal my campaign

This is not the time
My hero's are alive and well in a cave
I'm keeping them on ice in suspended animation
Till the very right occasion comes along

To our rally come along
Come along to our rally
Come along to our rally come along

To our rally come along
Come along to our rally
Come along to our rally come along

A Brave new world will rise from the ashes
And there upon a rock titanic, I'll cast a giant
Shadow on the face of the deep
And never again will they dare to call me
A freckled, spotty, specky, four eyed
Weedy little creep!

No more tremblin' and quakin' in the gym
No more come on fellas, let's get him

What you gonna do
How you gonna do it
What you gonna do
How you gonna do it

Little by little, ooh, ooh
Little by little, bit by bit
Little by little, ooh, ooh
Little by little, bit by bit
bit by bit
bit by bit

Everyone's going to be free
But they'll have to agree to be free
They'll have to agree to be less free than me
'Cos I rule the world you see

So wait for the army of kiddy-winkies
And terrible tiny tots
In armoured school buses
Firing poison pea-shooters
And sinking their milk teeth into your thighs
Delapsus resurgam! when I fall I shall rise!

Wanna be a boss
I wanna be a big boss
I wanna boss the world around
I wanna be the biggest boss
that ever bossed the world around"

10cc revel in a glorious absurdist anarchic sense of humour. It happens to be one I share, as anyone whose seen any of our AAA Youtube videos will surely agree to! As a result there are several strange 10cc lyrics doing the rounds, from prostitutes exercising in Paris, to a drowning air passenger saved by a flight attendant to a dance based on having a bad sacro-iliac. However, I've plumped for this one, from the band's last album with the Godley and Creme line-up, which pushes the song as far as it will go. A nerdy weak nobody plots to overthrow the world and rule over it, which mixes Latin, nursery rhymes, James Bond and Regency Theatre to great effect. Believe me, it's even weirder when you hear it!

8) Neil Young "Will To Love" (American Stars 'n' Bars, 1977)

"It has often been my dream
To live with one
who wasn't there
Like an ocean fish
who swam upstream
Through nets,
by hooks, and hungry bears.

When the water grew less deep
My fins were aching
from the strain
I'm swimming in my sleep
I know I can't go back again.

Got the will to love,
the will to love.
I'll never lose it,
never lose the will to love,
Never lose the will.
It's like
something from up above.

I can be like
a fire in the night
Always warm
and giving off light
But there comes a time
when I shine too bright
Oh, I'm just a fire in the night.

And now my fins are in the air
And my belly's
scraping on the rocks
I still think
someone really cares
And I'll keep swimming
till I stop.

Got the will to love,
the will to love.
I'll never lose it,
never lose the will to love,
Never lose the will.
It's like
something from up above.

I'm like a singer on the stage
With the golden lights
and liquid rage
Down from the mountains
to the sea
Cool running love
keeps cleansing me.

It keeps my gills
from getting dry
But it distorts things
in my eyes
Sometimes I see
what really isn't there
Like my true lover, and I care.

Got the will to love,
the will to love.
I'll never lose it,
never lose the will to love,
Never lose the will.
It's like
something from up above.

Sometimes I ramble on and on
And I repeat myself
till all my friends are gone
And get lost in snow
and drown in rain
And never feel the same again.

I remember the ocean
from where I came
Just one of millions all the same
But somewhere
someone calls my name
I'm a harpoon dodger,
and I can't, won't be tamed.

Got the will to love,
the will to love.
I'll never lose it,
never lose the will to love,
Never lose the will.
It's like
something from up above.

Baby, if I see boredom
in your eyes
I'll know my river has run dry
But I won't turn back
with that lonely tide
I bought that ticket
and I'll take that ride.

If we meet along the way
Please sway beside me,
let us sway together
Our tails together
and our fins and mind
We'll leave this water
and let our scales shine
In the sun above
and the sky below
So all the water
and earth will know

It has often been my dream
To live with one
who wasn't there"

Equally Neil Young's been known for some weird (or, if you're kind, 'Dylanesque') lyrics down the years. Check out 'The Old Homestead' and 'Lost In Space' for other, even weirder lyrics, while I was almost tempted to go for the minimalist lyric 'Got mashed Potato, ain't got no T-Bone!' (literally, that's all the lyric there is, for a full eight minutes). However, I've gone for 'Will TO Love', which sounds on first listen as if it's quite a straightforward song - until you realise that Neil is inhabiting the soul of a fish. Using a fish's hazardous journey as a metaphor for love enables Neil to really get into the feeling of a 'salmon fishing upstream', but far from being simply a wacky lyric there's a real heart to this one, taking in very real human feelings of loneliness, anguish and heartbreak along the way.

9) The Beach Boys "Johnny Carson" (Beach Boys Love You, 1977)

"He sits behind his microphone
John-ny Car-son
He speaks in such a manly tone
John-ny Car-son

Ed McMahon comes on and says "Here's Johhny"
Every night at eleven thirty he's so funny
It's (nice) to (have) you (on) the (show) tonight
I've seen (your) act (in) Vegas out of sight

When guests are boring he fills up the slack
John-ny Car-son
The network makes him break his back
John-ny Car-son

Ed McMahon comes on and says "Here's Johnny"
Every night at eleven thirty he's so funny
Don't (you) think (he's) such (a) natural guy
The (way) he's (kept) it (up) could make you cry

Who's a man that we admire?
Johnny Carson is a real live wire.
Who's a man that we admire?
Johnny Carson is a real live wire.
Who's a man that we admire?
Johnny Carson is a real live wire.
Who's the man that we admire?
Johnny Carson is a real live wire"

I guess compared to the other entries on this list 'Johnny Carson' is a fairly normal song lyric. There are no references to armadillos, green skies, lizards on windowpanes, china cat sunflowers, taking over the world or Kellogg's cornflakes for a start and we do at least know that Johnny Carson is a real person. However, why anyone should want to write a whole song about a minor TV chat-show host is another matter. Brian Wilson's always had the ability to write about what's happening in his everyday life (even if he's 'busy doin' nothin' as on one memorable song), but sad to say the biggest thing in life circa 1977 was his daily ritual of sitting down to watch the Johnny Carson show. Incidentally, 'The Beach Boys Love You' might well win the award for 'whole AAA album with weirdest lyrics' what with its other songs about airplanes, rollerskating children, solar systems bringing us wisdom, honking down the gosh darn highway and a song that repeats 'Ding, Dang' over and over!

10) Paul McCartney "Party" (Run Devil Run, 1999)

"Some people like to rock, some people like to roll,
but moving and a grooving gonna satisfy my soul.
Let's have party, let's have party, send it to the store,
let's buy some more, let's have party tonight.

I've never kissed a bear, I've never kissed a goon,
but I can shake a chicken in the middle of the room.
Let's have party, let's have party, send it to the store,
let's buy some more, let's have party tonight.

Now, honky-tonky Joe is knocking at the door,
bring him in and fill him up and set him on the floor.
Let's have party, yeah, let's have party, send it to the store,
let's buy some more, let's have party tonight.
Party, party, well, I feel it in my leg, feel it in my shoe,
tell me, pretty baby if you think you feel it too.
Let's have party, let's have party,
oh, I'm gonna send it to the store, let's buy some more,
let's have party tonight.

Some people like to rock, some people like to roll,
but moving and a grooving gonna satisfy my soul.
Let's have party, let's have party, send it to the store,
let's buy some more, let's have party tonight.
We're gonna send it to the store, let's buy some more, have party tonight.

Oh yeah, we're gonna have ourselves a little party, yeah, yeah, tonight.
I'm not giving in, man, I'm gonna have a party, yeah.
Party, party, yeah, I'm not going home yet,
send it to the store, let's buy some more, we're gonna have a party tonight.

Some people like to rock, people like to roll,
but moving and a grooving gonna satisfy my soul, let's have a party
I'm not giving up....
I'm going to keep it going!....
Some people like to rock, some people like to roll,
but moving and a grooving gonna satisfy my soul....
Till the year 1999
Till the year 2000
Till the year 3000...."

OK, I'll be honest, most of this cover song (it was written by Jessie Mae Robinson and covered by Elvis for the film 'Loving You') makes sense in a rock and roll wop-bop-a-loo-bop type way. The narrator's excited that he's having a party, after all, and there's not too much that's weird about that. However, check out the second verse which contains my favourite ever lyric 'I've never kissed a bear, I've never kissed a Goon, but I can shake a chicken in the middle of the room!' Rumour has it that when Macca came to record this album for his rock and roll covers album 'Run Devil Run' the whole band spent their ear to the record trying to decipher the lyric, inspiring a memory that Paul had of doing exactly the same aged 15 with his ear to his dad's turntable. Even the internet didn't help so they got in touch with the publishers who said that, as far as they officially knew, that was the genuine lyric - and the 'Goon' was indeed inspired by the Beatles' radio favourites 'The Goon Show' (so much so I'm surprised Lennon - an even bigger fan than McCartney - didn't cover this song himself for his 'Rock 'n' Roll' album!)

And that's that for now. Silly or sensible, creative or incomprehensible, we'll be back next week with more news, views and music!

A NOW COMPLETE List Of Top Five/Top Ten/TOP TWENTY  Entries 2008-2019
1) Chronic Fatigue songs

2) Songs For The Face Of Bo

3) Credit Crunch Songs

4) Songs For The Autumn

5) National Wombat Week

6) AAA Box Sets

7) Virus Songs

8) Worst AAA-Related DVDs

9) Self-Punctuating Superstar Classics

10) Ways To Know You Have Turned Into A Collector

11) Political Songs

12) Totally Bonkers Concept Albums

13) Celebrating 40 Years Of The Beatles' White Album

14) Still Celebrating 40 Years Of The Beatles' White Album

15) AAA Existential Questions

16) Releases Of The Year 2008

17) Top AAA Xmas Songs

18) Notable AAA Gigs

19) All things '20' related for our 20th issue

20) Romantic odes for Valentine's Day

21) Hollies B sides

22) 'Other' BBC Session Albums

23) Beach Boys Rarities Still Not Available On CD

24) Songs John, Paul and George wrote for Ringo's solo albums

25) 5 of the Best Rock 'n' Roll Tracks From The Pre-Beatles Era

26) AAA Autobiographies

27) Rolling Stones B-sides

28) Beatles B-Sides

29) The lllloooonnngggeesssttt AAA songs of all time

30) Kinks B-Sides

31) Abandoned CSNY projects 'wasted on the way'

32) Best AAA Rarities and Outtakes Sets

33) News We've Missed While We've Been Away

34) Birthday Songs for our 1st Anniversary

35) Brightest Album Covers

36) Biggest Recorded Arguments

37) Songs About Superheroes

38) AAA TV Networks That Should Exist

39) AAA Woodtsock Moments

40) Top Moments Of The Past Year As Voted For By Readers

41) Music Segues

42) AAA Foreign Language Songs

43) 'Other' Groups In Need Of Re-Mastering

44) The Kinks Preservation Rock Opera - Was It Really About The Forthcoming UK General Election?

45) Mono and Stereo Mixes - Biggest Differences

46) Weirdest Things To Do When A Band Member Leaves

47) Video Clips Exclusive To Youtube (#1)

48) Top AAA Releases Of 2009

49) Songs About Trains

50) Songs about Winter

51) Songs about astrology plus horoscopes for selected AAA members

52) The Worst Five Groups Ever!

53) The Most Over-Rated AAA Albums

54) Top AAA Rarities Exclusive To EPs

55) Random Recent Purchases (#1)

56) AAA Party Political Slogans

57) Songs To Celebrate 'Rock Sunday'

58) Strange But True (?) AAA Ghost Stories

59) AAA Artists In Song

60) Songs About Dogs

61) Sunshiney Songs

62) The AAA Staff Play Their Own Version Of Monoploy/Mornington Crescent!

63) What 'Other' British Invasion DVDs We'd Like To See

64) What We Want To Place In Our AAA Time Capsule

65) AAA Conspiracy Theroies

66) Weirdest Things To Do Before - And After - Becoming A Star

67) Songs To Tweet To

68) Greatest Ever AAA Solos

69) John Lennon Musical Tributes

70) Songs For Halloween

71) Earliest Examples Of Psychedelia

72) Purely Instrumental Albums

73) AAA Utopias

74) AAA Imaginary Bands

75) Unexpected AAA Cover Versions

76) Top Releases of 2010

77) Songs About Snow

78) Predictions For 2011

79) AAA Fugitives

80) AAA Home Towns

81) The Biggest Non-Musical Influences On The 1960s

82) AAA Groups Covering Other AAA Groups

83) Strange Censorship Decisions

84) AAA Albums Still Unreleased on CD

85) Random Recent Purchases (#2)

86) Top AAA Music Videos

87) 30 Day Facebook Music Challenge

88) AAA Documentaries

89) Unfinished and 'Lost' AAA Albums

90) Strangest AAA Album Covers

91) AAA Performers Live From Mars (!)

92) Songs Including The Number '100' for our 100th Issue

93) Most Songs Recorded In A Single Day

94) Most Revealing AAA Interviews

95) Top 10 Pre-Fame Recordings

96) The Shortest And Longest AAA Albums

97) The AAA Allstars Ultimate Band Line-Up

98) Top Songs About Sports

99) AAA Conversations With God

100) AAA Managers: The Good, The Bad and the Financially Ugly

101) Unexpected AAA Cameos

102) AAA Words You can Type Into A Caluclator

103) AAA Court Cases

104) Postmodern Songs About Songwriting

105) Biggest Stylistic Leaps Between Albums

106) 20 Reasons Why Cameron Should Go!

107) The AAA Pun-Filled Cookbook

108) Classic Debut Releases

109) Five Uses Of Bird Sound Effects

110) AAA Classic Youtube Clips Part #1

111) Part #2

112) Part #3

113) AAA Facts You Might Not Know

114) The 20 Rarest AAA Records

115) AAA Instrumental Songs

116) Musical Tarot

117) Christmas Carols

118) Top AAA Releases Of 2011

119) AAA Bands In The Beano/The Dandy

120) Top 20 Guitarists #1

121) #2

122) 'Shorty' Nomination Award Questionairre

123) Top Best-Selling AAA Albums

124) AAA Songs Featuring Bagpipes

125) A (Hopefully) Complete List Of AAA Musicians On Twitter

126) Beatles Albums That Might Have Been 1970-74 and 1980

127) DVD/Computer Games We've Just Invented

128) The AAA Albums With The Most Weeks At #1 in the UK

129) The AAA Singles With The Most Weeks At #1 in the UK

130) Lyric Competition (Questions)

131) Top Crooning Classics

132) Funeral Songs

133) AAA Songs For When Your Phone Is On Hold

134) Random Recent Purchases (#3)

135) Lyric Competition (Answers)

136) Bee Gees Songs/AAA Goes Disco!

137) The Best AAA Sleevenotes (And Worst)

138) A Short Precise Of The Years 1962-70

139) More Wacky AAA-Related Films And Their Soundtracks

140) AAA Appearances On Desert Island Discs

141) Songs Exclusive To Live Albums

142) More AAA Songs About Armageddon

What difference does a name make? Arguably not much if you’re already a collector of a certain group, for whom the names on the album sleeves just...

This week’s top ten honours the humble motor car. The death trap on wheels, the metaphor for freedom, the put-down of capitalism, a source of...

This week we’re going to have a look at the 10 AAA singles that spent the most weeks at number on the American chart ‘Billboard’ – and it makes for...

Following on from last issue’s study of the American Billboard charts, here’s a look at which AAA albums spent the most weeks on the chart. The...

There are many dying arts in our modern world: incorruptible politicians, faith that things are going to get better and the ability to make decent...

This week we’ve decided to dedicate our top ten to those unsung heroes of music, the session musicians, whose playing often brings AAA artists (and...

Naturally we hold our AAA bands in high esteem in these articles: after all, without their good taste, intelligence and humanity we’d have nothing to...

What do you do when you’ve left a multi-million selling band and yet you still feel the pull of the road and the tours and the playing to audiences...

‘The ATOS Song’ (You’re Not Fit To Live)’ (Mini-Review) Dear readers, we don’t often feature reviews of singles over albums or musicians who aren’t...

In honour of this week’s review of an album released to cash in on a movie soundtrack (only one of these songs actually appears in ‘Easy Rider’...and...

Hic! Everyone raise a glass to the rock stars of the past and to this week’s feature...songs about alcolholic beverages! Yes that’s right, everything...

154) The human singing voice carries with it a vast array of emotions, thoughts that cannot be expressed in any other way except opening the lungs and...

Everyone has a spiritual home, even if they don’t actually live there. Mine is in a windy, rainy city where the weather is always awful but the...

Having a family does funny things to some musicians, as we’ve already seen in this week’s review (surely the only AAA album actually written around...

Some artists just have no idea what their best work really is. One thing that amazes me as a collector is how consistently excellent many of the...

159) A (Not That) Short Guide To The 15 Best Non-AAA Bands

160) The Greatest AAA Drum Solos (Or Near Solos!)

161) AAA Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall Of Fame Acceptance Speeches

162) AAA Re-Recordings Of Past Songs

163) A Coalition Christmas (A Fairy Tale)

164) AAA Songs About Islands

165) The AAA Review Of The Year 2012

166) The Best AAA Concerts I Attended

167) Tributes To The 10 AAA Stars Who Died The Youngest

168) The First 10 AAA Songs Listed Alphabetically

171) The 10 Best Songs From The Psychedelia Box-Sets ‘Nuggets’ and ‘Nuggets Two’

172) The 20 Most Common Girl’s Names In AAA Song Titles (With Definitions) 

180) First Recordings By Future AAA Stars

185) A Tribute To Storm Thorgerson Via The Five AAA Bands He Worked With

188) Surprise! Celebrating 300 Album Reviews With The Biggest 'Surprises' Of The Past Five Years Of Alan's Album Archives!

190) Comparatively Obscure First Compositions By AAA Stars

193) Evolution Of A Band: Comparing First Lyric With Last Lyric:

200) The Monkees In Relation To Postmodernism (University Dissertation)

202) Carly Simon's 'You're So Vain': Was It About One Of The AAA Crew?

217) AAA 'Christmas Presents' we'd most like to have next year

221) Dr Who and the AAA (Five Musical Links)

222) Five Random Recent Purchases

223) AAA Grammy Nominees

224) Ten AAA songs that are better heard unedited and in full

225) The shortest gaps between AAA albums

226) The longest gaps between AAA albums

227) Top ten AAA drummers

228) Top Ten AAA Singles (In Terms of 'A' and 'B' Sides)

229) The Stories Behind Six AAA Logos

230) AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!! The Best Ten AAA Screams

231) An AAA Pack Of Horses

232) AAA Granamas - Sorry, Anagrams!

233) AAA Surnames and Their Meanings

234) 20 Erroneous AAA Album Titles

235) The Best AAA Orchestral Arrangements

236) Top 30 Hilariously Misheard Album Titles/Lyrics

237) Ten controversial AAA sackings - and whether they were right

238) A Critique On Critiquing - In Response To Brian Wilson

239) The Ten MusicianS Who've Played On The Most AAA Albums

240) Thoughts on #CameronMustGo

241) Random Recent Purchases (Kinks/Grateful Dead/Nils Lofgren/Rolling Stones/Hollies) 

242) AAA Christmas Number Ones 

243) AAA Review Of The Year 2014 (Top Releases/Re-issues/Documentaries/DVDs/Books/Songs/ Articles  plus worst releases of the year)

244) Me/CFS Awareness Week 2015

245) Why The Tory 2015 Victory Seems A Little...Suspicious

246) A Plea For Peace and Tolerance After The Attacks on Paris - and Syria

247) AAA Review Of The Year 2015

248) The Fifty Most Read AAA Articles (as of December 31st 2015)

249) The Revised AAA Crossword!

251) Half-A-Dozen Berries Plus One (An AAA Tribute To Chuck Berry)

252) Guest Post: ‘The Skids – Joy’ (1981) by Kenny Brown

254) Guest Post: ‘Supertramp – Some Things Never Change’ by Kenny Brown

255) AAA Review Of The Year 2018

256) AAA Review Of The Year 2019 plus Review Of The Decade 2010-2019

257) Tiermaker

258) #Coronastock

259) #Coronadocstock

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