Friday, 10 January 2014

Nominate This Site For A Shorty Award 2014!

Yes folks, it's that time of year again when the Shorty Awards are out for the best use of social media and various other things! Someone has already been kind enough to nominate me for an award - if you've enjoyed what you've been reading thispast year then perhaps you'd be kind enough to join in too? The username you want is @alansarchives - you're very welcome to follow me on Twitter via that name too! While you can vote for me and my site in any category (music/journalist/comedian/personwhowritesfarfartoomuch) it would be useful if you continue to vote for me in the 'blogger' category - that way we stand a chance of this site doing better through the listings this year instead of having our votes split across categories. Feel free to do what you like though - and thankyou if you are kind enough to vote! The link is here:

Meanwhile here's a re-print of last year's 'Shorty Awards' questionairre for you to laugh at, complete with a half-dozen extra answers from the questions that are new for this year. By the way the quotes are slightly out of date - some of them date back to 2010 when I'd only just started on twitter and hadn't met many of my current friends yet and this website was still at it's old address so you can ignore all those. For some reason I can't change them on the 'Shorty Awards' page but never mind - the digs at politicians and references to Bingo drinking and Max singing 'New York New York' are still as true today as when these were written!

The Shorty Interview with Alan Pattinson
What is the weirdest or most inappropriate place you've ever made a social media post from?

Zigorous Three, during a holiday back to my own planet!
In what ways do you waste the most time on social media?

Filling in the new questions asked by 'The Shorty Awards' every year! Oops....
Which family member do you wish was on Facebook? Which do you wish wasn't on Facebook?

Old great-great-great-great-great-great grandad Jebediah Bingo. He could tweet about what it's like being dead.
What's the funniest celebrity tweet you saw in this past year?

David Cameron tweeting about how he was going to cut that 'ecology green cr*&' followed by how the flooding was the planet's fault, not his!
What's the wildest experience you've had via social media?

Well, there was this 1 time Bingo tweeted 'hic' +Max tweeted 'hic hic hic' and suddenly a whole hour passed by. You should have been there!
How much time you spend online?

I never go online. I'll leave you pondering how I managed to fill in this questionairre by telepathy...
What's the most annoying social media trend?

Anything David Cameron says. Because it's all lies.
Who's your role model on social media?

Bingo and Max. Who else could organise that many drunken parties or tweet along to 'New York New York'?!
What will the internet be like in 50 years?

Eh?! Speak up young man! What do you mean they still haven't improved my internet connection yet, I've been waiting since 2014...
As a parent, coach, or role model tell us: How do you use social media to help others focus on all that is good in their lives? Don't forget to submit a nomination for the #KeepGoodGoing award!

Read each 10,000 word review at www.alansalbumarchives.blogspot - and then you'll know what it's like to suffer!!! #KeepGoodGoing
How has social media improved your life?

It hasn't. My eyesight is ten times worse and I'm getting paranoid at the thought having all these people 'following' me everywhere!
What's the most memorable Snapchat you've ever received?

Well I was playing snap this one time and fell into a great conversation about how the Kings looked like the Spice Girls in drag...
Instagram, Vine or GIF?

Insta-wha? Who's Vine? And why would I want a Gorilla In Fondue set?!
How do you pronounce GIF?

Err, 'GIF'!
What are six things you could never do without?

MP3 player, CD player, casette player, record player...hmm think you're getting the idea by now. Oh and two dogs, Max and Bingo!
Why should people follow you?

Our music site at, which has more writing than a boring science text book, but far more laughs
How do you make your tweets unique?

Trust me, when you're this monkeynuts after writing a multi-billion word count site, the way you see the world is very unique!
Has Twitter changed your life? If yes, how?

Yes. This site used to be just me, my thoughts and a laptop - now it's just me, my thoughts, a laptop and various followers!
How do you imagine Twitter changing?

Multiple accounts to cope with everyone's multiple personalities.
Twitter or Facebook?

Both. Facebook for friends I know and always want in my life - Twitter for people I'll never probably meet but are glad to have in my life
What's your best tweet?

I did enjoy comparing Nick Clegg to Nelson, the fox from Mongrels. Bingodoghic does the best tweets though
What do you wish people would do more of on Twitter?

Visit my site! Only joking - I would say the community spirit on Twitter is already about as good as it can get!
What are some big Twitter faux pas?

Tweeting personal opinions when you're in a job where you're not supposed to have any (politicians especially). Lucky no one knows me!
Who do you admire most for his or her use of Twitter?

@VelaDeadRaven is always cool, @Bingodoghic is always drunk, 4waysite has impeccable music taste and EmmaPne has a great chronic fatigue blog
Who is the funniest person on Twitter that you follow?

@VelaDeadRaven @bingodoghic (when he's not too drunk to forget his password!) and @ewokninjas, for that surreal in-joke factor
How do you use Twitter in your professional life?

By plugging my site. Endlessly. Remember folks, it's
Why should we vote for you?

Because I'm plugging my site, hang on, because if you share a passion for 1960s and 70s music I can help with your symptoms
Ever get called out for tweeting too much?

No, luckily that illness is easily tweeted! (Groan!)
140 characters of advice for a new user?

Remember that you'll always always always always always always always always use more letters than you think you are actually going to nee-
What's the most interesting connection you've made through Twitter?

NutTheSquirrel - it isn't everyday you get to chat to a beanie squirrel. I'm beginning to think Queen_UK isn't really the queen...
Who do you wish had a Twitter feed but doesn't?

Hundreds of musicians, I'd love to see CSNY on here and Dr Who, but then he's a bit busy saving the world from destruction every day to tweet
Can you name some one-of-a-kind Twitter accounts that you follow?

SontaronPR is pretty special - I always wondered what a Sontaron thought about when taking over the world. And @bingodoghic is unique too!
Terms you wish would start trending on Twitter right now?

#alansalbumarchives, #Cameronmustgo #TheQueenhasabdicated, #CSNYatnumberone, #TheFaceOfBoHasWonTheLottery, #BingoIsSober, #Maxhaslosthisvoice
Have you ever unfollowed someone? Who and why?

Only by accident. The more to follow the merrier in my view.
How will the world change in the next year?

Aliens will start tweeting their own messages from the planet Zigorous Three+all the 'April 1st' editions of my website will be proved right!
What question are we not asking here that we should?

What was the address of that marvellous website again? Why its, thanksforasking!
What was the funniest trend you've seen?

Queen_UK's tweet about Prince Charles getting a plastic crown in his cracker last year...
Is there someone you want to follow you who doesn't already? If so, who?

Everyone! And get visiting my site while you're about it: it's, visit us now!
What inspires you to tweet?

Music, madness, insanity, insincerity, injustice, inhumanity and daily events in my life that are so random I just have to share them
What are some words or phrases you refuse to shorten for brevity?

discombobulate, Simon and Garfunkel, Belle and Sebastian, Max The Singing Dog
How long can you go without a tweet?

I can manage...erm..ahh...umm...HELP! it's been too long! Stop asking me questions and let me tweet! I take it back - this is untweetable!
How do you decide what to tweet?

I take a long slow lazy look through the inner workings of my mind, fall asleep, turn on the telly and steal something funny by somebody else
What will the world be like 10 years from now?

Like it is now, but with no Coalition or Royal Family, more music websites and singing dogs with canes and contact from aliens on Zigorous 3
What is one of the biggest misconceptions of Twitter?

That it's a waste of time. Like 99% of our lives isn't anyway?!
Hashtag you created that you wish everyone used?

#alansalbumarchivesisgreat, #bingoisdrunkagain, #wakemeupwhenthecoalitionisover
What feature should Twitter add?

A link to my website - it's Wait, did I already mention that?!
Why'd you start tweeting?

To plug my website ( That and to keep an eye on what Bingo tweets when he is drunk!

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