Friday 23 July 2010

News, Views and Music Issue 68: (Top Forty-Two) Mornington Crescent/Monopoly

♫ We’ve all done it haven’t we? Studied a Monopoly board thinking ‘I could do better than that’ and working out what songs would be ‘Mayfair’ and which would be ‘Old Kent Road’ (what do you mean you haven’t?!? We’ve done it several times!) So for this edition of ‘News, Views and Music’ we’ve decided to modify our usual top five to offer you the lowdown on the most desirable AAA properties there to buy (on CD, at least, if not a real Monopoly board). As a little extra, your two members of AAA staff have decided to play this game under the same rules as Radio 4’s ‘I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue’s ‘Mornington Crescent’ (Fortheringay rules 1894 with a triple twist wordscore, naturally). In order to play we’ve started our guinea pig players off with £200 each (and luckily we’re playing this game before the ridiculous decision to raise the VAT prices goes up, David Cameron hang your head in shame...yet again...)

Hmm, how to start... Perhaps a safe bet. How about ‘Abbey Road’? (Mayfair, title of Beatles album 1969, rent £50, recently at a cheaper price from EMI)

....Interesting decision. In that case let’s move left down the street to ‘The Long and Winding Road’ (Park Lane, Beatles track ‘Let It Be’, 1970, rent £35 pending Apple law suit, but will it lead to your door? Only if you live on Park Lane.)

Just to stop you looking smug, next comes ‘The Golden Road (To Unlimited Devotion) (Regent Street, 1st Grateful Dead single 1967, rent £26 and presumably a bag of LSD, ‘hey hey come fly away and join the party every day!’)

...If you’re going down the Dead line then I’ll have to travel down the back lanes into ‘Shakedown Street’ (Pentonville Road, Grateful Dead song and album title 1979, rent £8 - not much shaking on shakedown street)

Hmm, just as long as you don’t try to build a ‘Mars Hotel’ on it. While we’re down the back end of town I’m going to try ‘Old Dirt Road’ (Euston Road, John Lennon track from ‘Walls and Bridges’ LP 1974, rent £6  - everybody’s hustling for a buck and a dime)

...While I clean the mud of my wellington boots here comes ‘Broad Street’ (Bond Street, Paul McCartney film and soundtrack album 1984, rent £28 – no more lonely nights this end of town!)

That was a nice visit, give it my regards. Next up I’m feeling groovy so it’s down to the 49th Bridge Street (Bow Street, Simon and Garfunkel track from 1967 album ‘Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme’, rent £14 - life I love you, all is groovy).

...Right time to get you out the groove with what is Positively 4th Street (Vine Street, Byrds track from live section of ‘Untitled’ LP 1970, rent £16 - pick up your tent because you ain’t going nowhere! Ha! Top Hat That!)

Looks like I’m forced to use evasive measures so here’s a long journey round the 14 minute opus Telegraph Road (which really turns on the Water Works, Dire Straits track from LP ‘Love Over Gold’ 1982, rent £4-times-the-amount-on-the-dice - come with me and I’ll take you away out of the darkness and into the day)

...That road still didn’t last as long as my next offering, ‘Eternity Road’ (Piccadilly, Moody Blues track from 1969 LP ‘To Our Children’s Children’s Children, rent £24 - searching to find some peace of mind)

Horrors! No wonder I’m having a Kansas City Nightmare on the 18th Avenue (Northumberland Avenue, Cat Stevens song from 1972 album ‘Catch-Bull At Four’, rent £22 - and cold potatoes too!, just down the street from ‘Portobello Road’, do I get extra for that one?!)

...Hmm this game’s taken a bit of a turn for the worse. Is that ‘Bleecker Street’ I see up ahead?! (Whitechapel Road, Simon and Garfunkel track from 1964 album ‘Wednesday Morning, 5AM’, rent £4  - that’s funny, its $30 pays your rent in the song, it must be a sale this week)

Time for a real road now with that infamous Ray Davies diatribe about a well known road of songwriters Denmark Street (Definitely not a community chest, perhaps the ‘Go To jail’ square, Kinks track from 1970 LP ‘Lola Versus Powerman and the Merry-Go-Round’, rent, huh, you’ll be lucky, more like lawyer’s fees pay £200)

...Well if you’re in a Kinks mood then I’m in ‘Dead End Street’ (Old Kent Road – what else? - Kinks single 1966, rent £2 - my feet are nearly frozen, boil the tea and put some toast on quick!)

Thank goodness they’re out the way, this neighbourhood is looking up now. Let’s try ‘Long Promised Road’ for size (Oxford Street, Beach Boys song from 1971 album ‘Surf’s Up, rent £26 - let my soul automatically soar)  

...I’m having a belated sense of ‘Salvation Road’ (Leicester Square, Kinks track from 1973 album ‘Preservation Act II’, rent £22 - we’ll all hold hands and all sing a song and all mark time as we go’)

Well, I’m having a spiritual turn now I’m near the end of the board with ‘Spirit Road’ (The Strand, Neil Young song from 2007 album ‘Chrome Dreams II’, rent £18 - it’s a long highway in your mind, you know)

...Well I’ve got my feet firmly on the ground, here on ‘Natural Avenue’ (Trafalgar Square, song and album by Moody Blues bassist John Lodge, rent £20)

Goodness knows where I am now. Must be the ‘Road To Kingdom Come’ (Marlborough Street, track on 1st Lindisfarne album ‘Nicely Out Of Tune’ 1970, rent £14 - as I turn my face back to the sun, condemned to walk the road to kingdom come)

...Well I know where I am, I’m in America – doing the Wall Street Shuffle to be precise - moaning at all the banks for losing all our money gambling (Fleet Street because the newspapers are always writing about it, a single by 10cc and track from their 1972 album ‘Sheet Music’, rent £18 - they plead with you ‘brother can you spare a dime?’, but you ain’t got the time’)

I’m running out of roads but I’ve still got some stations up my sleeve. First up an obvious one seeing as it really is on the Monopoly board, ‘King’s Cross Blues’ (King’s Cross Station, a track from the 1978 Lindisfarne album ‘Back and Fourth’ , rent £25 per station owned – I wish this King’s Cross Station didn’t have to be so far!)

...Alright then, two can play at this game. I’m In ‘Terrapin Station’ (or rather ‘Marleybone Station’ – same thing really – a track and album by The Grateful Dead 1977, rent £25 per station owned – some have lied, some have cried, some have died just to get to Terrapin, just left going out of Carlisle)

Is that a ‘Train’ I see ‘In The Distance’? (I’m getting desperate now...) (Liverpool Street Station, a track from Paul Simon’s 1983 album ‘Hearts and Bones’, rent £25 per station owned – everyone loves the sound of a train in the distance, they just don’t like it passing through’, especially in the tunnels at Liverpool’s Central Station where they make one heck of a din)

...Well I passed through there Yesterday, so that’s ‘Yesterday’s Train’ to me now (Fenchurch Street Station, yet another track from the 1970 Byrds ‘Untitled’ LP, rent £25 per station owned)

Right, I’m getting desperate now. How about ‘4 Way Street’? (Whitehall, the title of a CSNY concert recording from 1971, rent £10 – and if you can find the cost of freedom, that would be helpful as well)

Continuing the CSN theme I’ve got a ‘Street To Lean On’ (Pall Mall to be precise; a track from the 1994 CSN album ‘After The Storm’, rent £12 – she got no galleria, she got no Pall Mall, all she got is the street to lean on and the gutter where I fall after paying the rent on the next property no doubt)

My finances are getting low too – but I don’t know when I’m beat, that’s why I’m your ‘Shadow In The Street’ (The Angel, Islington; Allan Clarke track from 1979 LP ‘I Wasn’t Born Yesterday’, rent £6 – I must have been born yesterday to charge that low price!)

Blimey we’re getting close now. But not closer to home because I’m in ‘Blue Jay Way’ (Coventry Street, a track from the 1967 Double EP ‘Magical Mystery Tour’ by The Beatles, rent £22, but please don’t be long on paying it or I may be asleep....z...z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z)

Err, Umm, Ooh, Hec, I can’t think of anymore and we’re only one property away from completing the board.

...Does that mean I win?

I think it does...

...Yippee! ‘Mornington Crescent’ (The Electric Company because, well, this track is electrifying, a track by Belle and Sebastian from their 2005 CD ‘The Life Pursuit’, rent £4-times-the-amount-shown-on-the-dice - ‘Mornington Crescent, I think of you, when I’m in the South East and I’m feeling blue’)

What a victory! What can I spend my winnings on? Everything in next week’s news column probably! We hope you’ve enjoyed this little sojourn round our heads. More strangeness next week!

A NOW COMPLETE List Of Top Five/Top Ten/TOP TWENTY  Entries 2008-2019
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2) Songs For The Face Of Bo

3) Credit Crunch Songs

4) Songs For The Autumn

5) National Wombat Week

6) AAA Box Sets

7) Virus Songs

8) Worst AAA-Related DVDs

9) Self-Punctuating Superstar Classics

10) Ways To Know You Have Turned Into A Collector

11) Political Songs

12) Totally Bonkers Concept Albums

13) Celebrating 40 Years Of The Beatles' White Album

14) Still Celebrating 40 Years Of The Beatles' White Album

15) AAA Existential Questions

16) Releases Of The Year 2008

17) Top AAA Xmas Songs

18) Notable AAA Gigs

19) All things '20' related for our 20th issue

20) Romantic odes for Valentine's Day

21) Hollies B sides

22) 'Other' BBC Session Albums

23) Beach Boys Rarities Still Not Available On CD

24) Songs John, Paul and George wrote for Ringo's solo albums

25) 5 of the Best Rock 'n' Roll Tracks From The Pre-Beatles Era

26) AAA Autobiographies

27) Rolling Stones B-sides

28) Beatles B-Sides

29) The lllloooonnngggeesssttt AAA songs of all time

30) Kinks B-Sides

31) Abandoned CSNY projects 'wasted on the way'

32) Best AAA Rarities and Outtakes Sets

33) News We've Missed While We've Been Away

34) Birthday Songs for our 1st Anniversary

35) Brightest Album Covers

36) Biggest Recorded Arguments

37) Songs About Superheroes

38) AAA TV Networks That Should Exist

39) AAA Woodtsock Moments

40) Top Moments Of The Past Year As Voted For By Readers

41) Music Segues

42) AAA Foreign Language Songs

43) 'Other' Groups In Need Of Re-Mastering

44) The Kinks Preservation Rock Opera - Was It Really About The Forthcoming UK General Election?

45) Mono and Stereo Mixes - Biggest Differences

46) Weirdest Things To Do When A Band Member Leaves

47) Video Clips Exclusive To Youtube (#1)

48) Top AAA Releases Of 2009

49) Songs About Trains

50) Songs about Winter

51) Songs about astrology plus horoscopes for selected AAA members

52) The Worst Five Groups Ever!

53) The Most Over-Rated AAA Albums

54) Top AAA Rarities Exclusive To EPs

55) Random Recent Purchases (#1)

56) AAA Party Political Slogans

57) Songs To Celebrate 'Rock Sunday'

58) Strange But True (?) AAA Ghost Stories

59) AAA Artists In Song

60) Songs About Dogs

61) Sunshiney Songs

62) The AAA Staff Play Their Own Version Of Monoploy/Mornington Crescent!

63) What 'Other' British Invasion DVDs We'd Like To See

64) What We Want To Place In Our AAA Time Capsule

65) AAA Conspiracy Theroies

66) Weirdest Things To Do Before - And After - Becoming A Star

67) Songs To Tweet To

68) Greatest Ever AAA Solos

69) John Lennon Musical Tributes

70) Songs For Halloween

71) Earliest Examples Of Psychedelia

72) Purely Instrumental Albums

73) AAA Utopias

74) AAA Imaginary Bands

75) Unexpected AAA Cover Versions

76) Top Releases of 2010

77) Songs About Snow

78) Predictions For 2011

79) AAA Fugitives

80) AAA Home Towns

81) The Biggest Non-Musical Influences On The 1960s

82) AAA Groups Covering Other AAA Groups

83) Strange Censorship Decisions

84) AAA Albums Still Unreleased on CD

85) Random Recent Purchases (#2)

86) Top AAA Music Videos

87) 30 Day Facebook Music Challenge

88) AAA Documentaries

89) Unfinished and 'Lost' AAA Albums

90) Strangest AAA Album Covers

91) AAA Performers Live From Mars (!)

92) Songs Including The Number '100' for our 100th Issue

93) Most Songs Recorded In A Single Day

94) Most Revealing AAA Interviews

95) Top 10 Pre-Fame Recordings

96) The Shortest And Longest AAA Albums

97) The AAA Allstars Ultimate Band Line-Up

98) Top Songs About Sports

99) AAA Conversations With God

100) AAA Managers: The Good, The Bad and the Financially Ugly

101) Unexpected AAA Cameos

102) AAA Words You can Type Into A Caluclator

103) AAA Court Cases

104) Postmodern Songs About Songwriting

105) Biggest Stylistic Leaps Between Albums

106) 20 Reasons Why Cameron Should Go!

107) The AAA Pun-Filled Cookbook

108) Classic Debut Releases

109) Five Uses Of Bird Sound Effects

110) AAA Classic Youtube Clips Part #1

111) Part #2

112) Part #3

113) AAA Facts You Might Not Know

114) The 20 Rarest AAA Records

115) AAA Instrumental Songs

116) Musical Tarot

117) Christmas Carols

118) Top AAA Releases Of 2011

119) AAA Bands In The Beano/The Dandy

120) Top 20 Guitarists #1

121) #2

122) 'Shorty' Nomination Award Questionairre

123) Top Best-Selling AAA Albums

124) AAA Songs Featuring Bagpipes

125) A (Hopefully) Complete List Of AAA Musicians On Twitter

126) Beatles Albums That Might Have Been 1970-74 and 1980

127) DVD/Computer Games We've Just Invented

128) The AAA Albums With The Most Weeks At #1 in the UK

129) The AAA Singles With The Most Weeks At #1 in the UK

130) Lyric Competition (Questions)

131) Top Crooning Classics

132) Funeral Songs

133) AAA Songs For When Your Phone Is On Hold

134) Random Recent Purchases (#3)

135) Lyric Competition (Answers)

136) Bee Gees Songs/AAA Goes Disco!

137) The Best AAA Sleevenotes (And Worst)

138) A Short Precise Of The Years 1962-70

139) More Wacky AAA-Related Films And Their Soundtracks

140) AAA Appearances On Desert Island Discs

141) Songs Exclusive To Live Albums

142) More AAA Songs About Armageddon

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159) A (Not That) Short Guide To The 15 Best Non-AAA Bands

160) The Greatest AAA Drum Solos (Or Near Solos!)

161) AAA Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall Of Fame Acceptance Speeches

162) AAA Re-Recordings Of Past Songs

163) A Coalition Christmas (A Fairy Tale)

164) AAA Songs About Islands

165) The AAA Review Of The Year 2012

166) The Best AAA Concerts I Attended

167) Tributes To The 10 AAA Stars Who Died The Youngest

168) The First 10 AAA Songs Listed Alphabetically

171) The 10 Best Songs From The Psychedelia Box-Sets ‘Nuggets’ and ‘Nuggets Two’

172) The 20 Most Common Girl’s Names In AAA Song Titles (With Definitions) 

180) First Recordings By Future AAA Stars

185) A Tribute To Storm Thorgerson Via The Five AAA Bands He Worked With

188) Surprise! Celebrating 300 Album Reviews With The Biggest 'Surprises' Of The Past Five Years Of Alan's Album Archives!

190) Comparatively Obscure First Compositions By AAA Stars

193) Evolution Of A Band: Comparing First Lyric With Last Lyric:

200) The Monkees In Relation To Postmodernism (University Dissertation)

202) Carly Simon's 'You're So Vain': Was It About One Of The AAA Crew?

217) AAA 'Christmas Presents' we'd most like to have next year

221) Dr Who and the AAA (Five Musical Links)

222) Five Random Recent Purchases

223) AAA Grammy Nominees

224) Ten AAA songs that are better heard unedited and in full

225) The shortest gaps between AAA albums

226) The longest gaps between AAA albums

227) Top ten AAA drummers

228) Top Ten AAA Singles (In Terms of 'A' and 'B' Sides)

229) The Stories Behind Six AAA Logos

230) AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!! The Best Ten AAA Screams

231) An AAA Pack Of Horses

232) AAA Granamas - Sorry, Anagrams!

233) AAA Surnames and Their Meanings

234) 20 Erroneous AAA Album Titles

235) The Best AAA Orchestral Arrangements

236) Top 30 Hilariously Misheard Album Titles/Lyrics

237) Ten controversial AAA sackings - and whether they were right

238) A Critique On Critiquing - In Response To Brian Wilson

239) The Ten MusicianS Who've Played On The Most AAA Albums

240) Thoughts on #CameronMustGo

241) Random Recent Purchases (Kinks/Grateful Dead/Nils Lofgren/Rolling Stones/Hollies) 

242) AAA Christmas Number Ones 

243) AAA Review Of The Year 2014 (Top Releases/Re-issues/Documentaries/DVDs/Books/Songs/ Articles  plus worst releases of the year)

244) Me/CFS Awareness Week 2015

245) Why The Tory 2015 Victory Seems A Little...Suspicious

246) A Plea For Peace and Tolerance After The Attacks on Paris - and Syria

247) AAA Review Of The Year 2015

248) The Fifty Most Read AAA Articles (as of December 31st 2015)

249) The Revised AAA Crossword!

251) Half-A-Dozen Berries Plus One (An AAA Tribute To Chuck Berry)

252) Guest Post: ‘The Skids – Joy’ (1981) by Kenny Brown

254) Guest Post: ‘Supertramp – Some Things Never Change’ by Kenny Brown

255) AAA Review Of The Year 2018

256) AAA Review Of The Year 2019 plus Review Of The Decade 2010-2019

257) Tiermaker

258) #Coronastock

259) #Coronadocstock

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