ALAN'S ALBUM ARCHIVES - NEWS, VIEWS AND MUSIC ISSUE 176761******Still only £854.50 or two-and-a-half Quargs!****
Inside this weeks' exciting issue... Max The Singing Dog celebrates his 100th birthday by talking about his life and times; we celebrate Max's top six appearances on TV and Radio in our weekly 'top' column; we have the latest Doctor Who news; Nelson is still 'lost in time' and we finally reveal whether dungarees really are dangerous!
With a free MP-5 featuring the latest release by The Austounders and celebrating 130 years since the first CSN album!
"Earth edition - also available in Zigorosian"****"The Earth's Favourite Monkeynuts Newsletter"****"Rather nervous sponsors of BoFace Time Travel experiments"
Dear reader, welcome to another issue of News, Views and Music, your first from our all-new team Ed The Editor' Edwards and Max's nephew Scrappy Doo! This week we head back to the old brigade, though, with a special 'picture book'/ 'scrapbook of madness' in aid of someone very dear to this website's hearts! Oh and - err - sorry about the delay in getting last week's publication out to you: our android D79-4ZQ has been playing up again (somebody played him some Spic Girls music for a joke and it's fused all his circuits!) and all the drone-bots we sent out with your mail last week seem to have disappeared down the Bermuda triangle. Ah well, we hope to have more luck with this issue - in fact we know we will because apparently someone sent it back in time 85 years as an April Fool's joke, very funny! - which is a special publication celebrating the life and times of one of our founders, Max The Singing Dog, in memory of his 100th birthday.
Now a resident in the New York New York Folks Home For Retired Celebrity Canines, Max kindly took some time out from his usual schedule playing chess with Lassie and dancing with Pudsey to talk to us about some of his memories. He's also very kindly opened up his scrapbook to share some photographs and souvenirs from across Alan's Album Archives' long and complex history. I was particularly pleased to hear his reminiscences from his Grand-Doggy and his puppy past listening to records and dreaming of becoming a 'star' before joining the Alan's Album Archives team near the very beginning. From his slots on several big TV shows that are still running today and his help in overthrowing the tyrannical Coalition Government to his many awards and his successes, Max has led so much more than a dog's life. He's also very forthcoming about his addiction to top hats and canes that saw him serve a prison term in the 2080s and his rehabilitation back to full health thanks to his association with the Moomin Church.
Look out too for our regular 'top six' column, which this time around will be extracts from some of Max's most famous television and radio appearances over the years. interspersed with the interview. Most weeks we try to bring you the 'soundtrack' to your lives here at the AAA; this week we're bringing you the pictures to go with the soundtrack instead! Don't worry though: our usual columns such as the News, the Reviews, Nelson's time-travelling and the latest shenanigans in the AAA-sponsored Dr Who series will all be there as normal. So lean back in your Max The Dog Rocking Chair (£1999.99 from all good stockists), put on some music (the 'Best Of Alan's Album Archives' Volume 37 is out now priced £376.50) and tip your Max The Dog top hat (£798 from 'TopHatShop) to one cool canine! Oh and in answer to the question on everybody's lips: yes, dungarees are still very dangerous!
(Ed the Editor)
♫ Various Artists News: While several AAA bands are no more, don't despair! There's now a long line up of AAA tribute acts treading the boards in a galaxy near you! Open for tickets now include The Beach Volley Boys (Beach Boys), In A Bit Of A Pickle (Dire Straits), Thankyou Rigor Mortis (Grateful Dead), The Herbert Hoover Hanglider (Jefferson Airplane) and My Little Ponies (Crazy Horse).
♫ Various Artists News: Following the success of last year's event the fifth AAA-sponsored 'Snoozestock' Festival taking place next month - to raise money for chronic fatigue. m.e. and fibromyalgia sufferers - looks as if it will be bigger than ever. The event is being beamed around the world so sufferers can watch it from their beds and in the middle of the night when they're most likely to be awake! (Check out the BBC - Belobrat Broadcasting Company - channel 12 listings for more details). Performances this year include several AAA bands who have reunited especially for the gig to sing their AAA themed songs including The Beatles ('I'm So Tired' 'I'm Only Sleeping' and a special extended version of 'Twist and Shout Before You Get Comfy'), Graham Nash ('Another Sleep Song'), Cat Stevens ('A Bad Night' and 'I'm So Sleepy'), The Beach Boys ('I Went To Sleep') The Kinks ('Just Can't Go To Sleep' 'Sleepwalker' and 'Sleepless Night'), Pink Floyd ('Uncomfortably Numb'), The Small Faces ('Every Little Bit Hurts'), Neil Young ('Bad Brainfog of Loneliness') and The Who (with their modified Eddie Cochran cover 'Aching All Over'). Ex-sufferers like Belle and Sebastian's Stuart Murdoch (singing 'Sleep The Clock Around') and Cher will be the headline acts. The event will raise money for research into the illness, care and comfort for the sufferers and their families and something guaranteed to cheer every me/cfs patient up: a special trip to Dartmoor Prison where those who suffered under the tyrannical Coalition rule can throw rotten eggs at David Cameron, Ian Duncan Smith and Nick Clegg!
♫ The Austounders News: Dog's recently returned from a highly successful cruise where he was voted 'second best dressed canine' after our very own Max! Meanwhile, the new Austounders compilation 'Still Dungareed, Still Dangerous' is out now on our own 'Spareroom Studios' label!
♫The Beach Boys News: The ever so slightly re-worked single 'I Get Around (On My Motor-scooter') is storming up the charts!
♫ The Beatles News: The fab four's old record company Apple have been sold yet again - it's not Pine or CRAB that have bought them this time around but Carte D'or, meaning that from now on the company will be known as - yes, you guessed it - 'Applecarte'.
♫ The Kinks/Oasis News: Sibling rivalry is set to hit another fever pitch as the second run of releases by the two halves of two of the 20th century's greatest bands continue to work together. Today elder brothers Ray Davies and Noel Gallagher releasing their second album as 'Kinky Birds' with such songs as 'Wonderwall on Dead End Street' and 'You Really Got Me Looking Back In Anger'. Meanwhile younger brothers Liam Gallagher and Dave Davies are to release their new single as 'Kinky Eyes' next month: 'Lola Lyla' backed with 'Be Here Now 'Cos I'm So Tired Of Waiting For You'.
♫ The Monkees News: Here they come, hovergliding down your street...yes that's right, the revived Monkees TV series will be back by the end of the year and the 18th series will again be sponsored by Alan's Album Archives. The plotlines include Micky being abducted by a bunch of clandusprod aliens from Frodis, Peter competes in Strictly Come Dancing (where he comes last to a bunch of cheating four-legged aliens), Davy's ghost falls in love with the American president Jill Clinton and Mike is trying to post old clips of the Monkees to Youtube, but doesn't get a single view!
♫ Pentangle News: The band who love to explore old songs and bring them up to date have a new album out soon, said to be the best exploration of the ancient world since Mike's Dad recorded his own album 'She's About A Hoover'. The album, to be entitled 'Shopping Trolley of Light' includes late 21st century re-workings of such classics as Morning Has Broken, She Loves You and Lady Gaga's 'Pokerface'.
♫ Pink Floyd News: The recently reunited band continue their run of live performances. After 'Dark Side Of The Moon' performed on the dark side of the moon and 'The Wall' at the recently rebuilt 'Hadrian's Wall' (built after Scotland voted 'yes' to independence!) comes 'The Division Bell' performed inside Big Ben!
♫ Rolling Stones News: The band have a new live album out - their 27th this decade, a record even for them! Entitled 'Stones In Space' the latest release features the band playing on board their own 'Soul Survivor' Mars module and features epic re-recordings of their songs '2000 Light Years From Home' 'In Another Land' 'Moonlight Mile' 'Who's Been Driving Your Lunar Module?' and 'Star Star'!
♫ The Who News: The Dr Who theme tune re-recording 'Talking 'Bout My Regenerations' for new doctor Richard O'Brien continues to storm the intergalactic charts!
♫ Neil Young News: Well, it took a while but 'Archives: The Centuries Volume II' is finally here! Mopping up the albums from 2000-2050, the set includes such gems as 'Falling Off The Face Of The Earth' 'Oodlespingt' (the tribute to the belobrat protestors prosecuted by William G Bush) and the anniversary single 'Harvest Festival'.
MAX THE SINGING DOG SPEAKS!
|Insert: Two pictures from Max's phone from 2002, kindly printed with permission|
|Insert: AAA Sticker released in 2018|
|Insert: The AAA Headquarters in 2020:|
Insert: AAA In The News
|Insert: Max's Rosette|
|'Max The Dog Jigsaw' yours for just £4.99 and three bottle-tops from 'Max-O' cereal!|
|Insert: That infamous mis-spelt label|
|Insert: More merchandise - A frothy Maxucinno available only at Maxdonalds|
|Max's 'AAA' Alphabet Soup'|
|Insert: Film Poster|
|Insert: That Plane!|
|Insert: That Boat!|
|Insert: Flipping Marvellous! max Chats To Obama|
|Insert: Clipping Marvellous! Max (And Bingo) Make The News!|
|Insert: 'New York Max' in the state of 'Alan's Album Archives' (Max: 'We were always in a state making Alan's Album Archives!)|
Insert: The crop circle message that sealed the Earth's fate.
Insert: A couple of examples of out-of-time graffiti
Insert: the two album covers for the best-selling singles of the 2070s and 2080s respectively
Insert - Bad times; Max had made a 'dog's dinner' of things in the 2090s! The shock even caused him to temporarily change breed!
Insert: 'I used to think the book of Genesis was just a Phil Collins biography until I found my new career'
Continued in the very exciting part two here http://www.alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2014/04/max-dogs-picture-book-part-two-news.html (in which Nelson goes back in time, Max appears on TV and the Spice Girls do ballet...)