Thanks for this issue’s top, erm,
whatever must go to reader Lizzie Carnogan, who as well as asking me to call it
the top, erm, whatever provided me with the link to the following set of
questions and told me she wanted our site to ‘have a bit of that’. Erm,
whatever. The idea of this fun-filled ‘game’ is that you have to answer a set
of questions for all the important
points in your life and you then have to put your MP3 player/Ipod/CD
player/throw your collection of singles into the air/put onto shuffle and see
what answers you get. Those answers can be profound, comical or just plain
wrong (or a bit of all three as we’ll be seeing...) It’s like fortune telling
or tarot, but using music as your spiritual guide – and a better spiritual
guide than music I’ve yet to find. If you fancy having a go, please send in your own answers in to our forum so I can
laugh at your answers as much as you’ll laugh at mine. And no cheating! Right,
here goes...
1)
A song that sums you up:
‘Barbara’ (The Beach Boys ‘Endless Harmony’ 1995): Hmm not a great
one to start off with, a moody Beach Boys ballad about Dennis Wilson’s partner
‘shining with love’ – and no, I am not called Barbara at weekends. I’m going to
scotch that rumour now!
2)
Your birthday theme
song:
‘No One Knows I’m Gone’ (Scarlett Johansson, ‘Anywhere I lay My
Head’ 2008): Hmm this one is kind of profound – I hate parties, I’m not that
keeen on celebrations and I was once typecast as Scrooge in a school-play, so I
guess trying to leave my own birthday parties before people turn up isn’t as
far off the beaten track as I’d like. And before anyone asks, no I didn’t buy
this album just for the cover – there are three really good songs on miss
Johnasson’s album and this one in particular is gold (its a pretty good musical
metaphor for a bad chronic fatigue attack). There’s also the added bonus that I
can listen to Tom Waits’ pretty nifty songs without actually having to put with
Tom Waits singing them.
3)
What other people think
of you:
‘Last Train To Clarksville’ (The Monkees, ‘The Monkees’ 1966): Gee,
thanks for that. So you’re leaving in the morning and won’t see me again eh?
I’d rather interpret this choice as meaning ‘you’re a best-selling #1 on both
sides of the Atlantic and we think you belong at the top of the charts!’ Either
that or my MP3 player thinks I just monkee around all the time...
4)
What you think of other
people:
‘Wild Wood’ (Paul Weller, ‘Wild Wood’ 1994): Hmm another quite
profound selection once you analyse it, a song about things never staying still
and ‘never knowing just where you’re blowing, getting to where you should be
going’. Oh and if I can stretch a point to include the Coalition in my opinions
of others then, well, has there ever been a wilder wood than Downing Street
‘now there’s no justice, only yourself you can trust in?’
5)
Your ‘party’ theme song:
‘Let It Shine’ (Brian Wilson, ‘Brian Wilson’ 1988): Not as bad as I
first thought actually, as my player has chosen for me a song that celebrates
the inner beauty of people and nature and celebrates the warm glow of their
love. This is probably a lot closer to the truth than most ‘party’ songs,
although I was longing for Lindisfarne’s ‘I Must Stop Going To Parties’.
6)
What you want to say to
your friends:
‘Won’t You Feel Good That Morning?’ (The Hollies, ‘Romany’ 1972):
Yes!!!! Spot on! This is a song about overcoming obstacles and coming to terms
with life’s problems with the hope of a brighter tomorrow ‘on that day hey
hey’. Which is what I mean to say to most of my friends, even if all they
actually get is me hiding their pillows or stabbing them in the back with
energy blades while playing ‘Halo’.
7)
What you want to say to
your enemies:
‘What Are Their Names?’ (David Crosby, ‘If Only I Could Remember My
Name’ 1971): Actually I’m quite spooked now. I couldn’t think of any better
message to my enemies than this great fiery political rant one that asks who
the faceless greedy leaders are and that I’d like to ride over this Afternoon
and give them a piece of my mind about peace for mankind, instead of getting
involved in yet another war with a country that never asked us to get involved.
I’m genuinely scared now about this whole article and am beginning to think my
machine really can see into my inner thoughts...
8)
A song that sums up your
best friend:
‘Dead End Street’ (The Kinks, single, 1966): Erm nothing personal
here Face Of Bo but this song of quite desperation and working class despair
does seem to sum us up quite well. And no that’s not just a refernce to the
fact that we slept under a pair of curtains the other night because there was
no money for the heating...
9)
A song that sums up your
pet (if you have one):
‘When Your Lonely Heart Breaks’ (Neil Young, ‘Life, 1987): For the
purposes of this article my ‘pet’ is any one of the creatures you’ve already
seen in our Youtube Alan’s Album Archives Videos (what do you mean you haven’t
seen them? Run along to Youtube right now!) I presume that Max The Singing Dog
must have a secret life I don’t know about with the choice of this track, a
surprisingly sorrowful and slow Neil Young ballad. Hmm, perhaps that last video
about a romance with Bella the Elephant wasn’t just acting after all...
10)
A song that sums up your
school days:
‘You Are The One’ (George Harrison, ‘Somewhere In England’ 1981):
Err, if God does exist I seriously doubt he was around in my school days but
that’s exactly what we’ve got here: the best of George’s many attempts to get
the love for ‘God’ into a love song that works on multiple levels. I was hoping
for ‘Another Brick In The Wall’ or The Kinks’ ‘Schoolboys In Disgrace’...
11)
A song that sums up your
high school graduation (that’s ‘turn up for a tatty certificate and tutting
from the teachers who never thought you’d actually pass’ for our English
readers):
‘Long Leather Coat’ (Paul McCartney, b-side to ‘Hope Of Deliverance’
1993): I can’t tell – is this selection spot-on or is it just the daftness of
this ‘quiz’ that’s getting to me? You decide – this is a song about a
leather-wearing moron who tries to seduce a vegetarian at a school party, only
to discover that she’s already been seduced and dumped by him before, so she
locks him in her room and attacks his leather coat with paint. That never
happened at my ‘graduation’ (such as it was) but I reserve the right to alter
this article if I find out one day something went on like this that I never
knew about...
12)
A song for your
college/university years (if you went!):
‘You’re Just A Baby’ (Belle and Sebastian, ‘Tigermilk’ 1995): Erm
sorry Mongoose, this song about an infantile partner sounds spot on at first
hearing, especially the lines about the emotional turmoil that makes the
partner go ‘off your head’. Not sure about the love interest moments though and
that there must be a reason for all the things we never said before...Funnily
enough this is the first (and best) Belle and Sebastian album I ever heard and
I borrowed it from carlisle Library when I really was at university!
13)
A song that sums up your
flatmates (if you have/had any!):
‘Louie Louie’ (The Kinks, ‘The Kinks’, 1964): As far as I know no
one has ever successfully worked out what the hell is going on in this popular
and much-covered 1950s rocker so I don’t think I’ve got a hope of interpreting
it now. And no, sadly, I never had a flatmate called ‘Louie’ (perhaps this is a
vision of the future instead?...)
14)
A song that sums up your
‘soul mate’:
‘Life’s A Long Song’ (Jethro Tull, ‘Living In The Past’ compilation,
1970):
‘Don’t you fret, don’t you fear, I will give you good cheer, don’t
you squeal as the heels grind you under the wheels’ – yep that sounds pretty
good to me, whoever that soulmate may be, although I’m a bit alarmed by the
theme of death that’s running through this track. Should I get worrying or just
assume that my soulmate is working as an undertaker?...
15)
A song that sums up your
job:
I don’t believe I really got this: ‘One Man’s Ceiling Is Another
Man’s Floor’ (Paul Simon, ‘There Goes Rhymin’ Simon’, 1972)!
Wa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! This one had me on the floor with
laughter, a song about how some people’s failures can do better than some
people’s successes and the fickle ladder of fame that seems so uneven when
you’re climbing it. Let me in on the next floor, it’s getting cramped down
here!
16)
A song for your wedding
(whether or not you’re married):
‘Working Class Hero’ (John Lennon, ‘Lennon/Plastic Ono Band’ 1970):
In nearly any other section this choice would have been profound, but I’m not
sure even Lennon would call this song a good choice for a wedding. It must be a
really working class one then, that’s all I’m saying. Although the line about
‘learning to smile while you kill’ certainly relates to some weddings I’ve been
to!
17)
A song that sums up your
partner/girlfriend:
‘Little Wing’ (Neil Young, ‘Hawks and Doves’, 1980): I hope this is
a nifty bit of fortune telling going on, just listen to these lines: ‘All her
friends call her ‘Little Wing’, though she flies rings around them all, she
comes to town when the children sing and leaves them feathers if they fall,
Little Wing don’t fly away, when the Summer turns to Fall, don’t you know some
people say Winter is the best time of them all?’ Profound. Or ridiculous. Only
time will tell.
18)
What your children will
think of you:
‘A Century Of Fakers’ (Belle and Sebastian, ‘Push Barman To Heal
Open Wounds’ 1997): I hope this choice is wrong, with a character whose making
‘blinkers fashionable’ and is actually the first sign of things going wrong in
the Stuart Murdoch-Isobel Campbell soap opera that kept us fans entranced for a
decade or so. I’d be quite pleased with the eulogy ‘they took your mould and
burned it on the fires of history today’ though (I’m already assuming my
children will look on me as a museum piece given that’s how even my older
relatives view me most of the time).
19)
A song that sums up your
hero:
‘It Doesn’t Matter’ (Stephen Stills/Manassas, the same, 1972):
Another oddball choice, I can’t really get anything out of this selection
although its worth noting that both of this song’s writers, Stephen Stills and
The Byrds’ Chris Hillman, are both heroes of mine. It’s nothing but dreaming
anyhow...
20)
A song that sums up what
you think about David Cameron:
‘A Woman Left Lonely’ (Janis Joplin, ‘Pearl’ 1970): I was hoping for
something a bit more vitriolic but at least this choice is pretty good on a
comedic level! Actually it sounds more
like Nick Clegg to me, a partner left knowing ‘things are coming to an end’ and
‘being taken for granted, because (s)he doesn’t understand’. Lizzie admits she
added this and the next one to the original list of questions just to see my
reaction by the way...
21)
A song that sums up what
you think about The Queen:
‘Maybe It’s Dawn’ (The Hollies, ‘5317704’, 1978):
Wa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Another spot on choice! It certainly is dawn
for the most costly anchronism Great Britain still maintains (at a cost bigger
than our nation’s schools or hospitals every year). Something gets into me,
call it jealousy, when I’m so far away...
22)
What people will say
about you when you’re dead:
‘Love and Mercy’ (Brian Wilson, ‘Brian Wilson’ 1988): MY MP3 player
really likes this album tonight considering this is the second song out of six
I’ve added to my player out of a choice of around 2000 tracks! Another profound
choice: I have indeed tried to live my life by love and mercy and the
simplistic words here (‘All the loneliness in this world, well its just not
fair!’) are as good a fit as any as how I lived my life. Whether I’ll be
remembered for love and mercy or just for my awful puns and practical jokes
remains to be seen...
23)
A song that sums up how
you lived your life:
‘The First National Rag’ (Mike Nesmith and the First National Band,
‘Magnetic South’ 1970): I was hoping for something a little more, erm,
substantial than this I must admit! For those who don’t know it, this was the
‘linking’ song at the end of side one on the ex-Monkee’s first record and
simply consists of the lines: ‘we’re going to take a short intermission my
friends, but we’ll be back right after you’ve turned the record over’ while a
pedal-steel country band attempt the Loony Tunes theme-tune behind him!
Actually this song’s very brevity is in itself quite profound: does that mean
that I’m only going to achieve my potential in my next reincarnation? Or has
writing this quiz caused me to see too much in something that isn’t really
there?!? It’s up to you, dear reader, to decide...Let me know if your
selections are just as profound (or just as daft!)
Tune
in for more musical mayhem next week, this time with a yuletide theme!
A NOW COMPLETE List Of Top Five/Top Ten/TOP TWENTY Entries 2008-2019
What difference does a name make? Arguably not much if you’re already a collector of a certain group, for whom the names on the album sleeves just...
This week’s top ten honours the humble motor car. The death trap on wheels, the metaphor for freedom, the put-down of capitalism, a source of...
This week we’re going to have a look at the 10 AAA singles that spent the most weeks at number on the American chart ‘Billboard’ – and it makes for...
Following on from last issue’s study of the American Billboard charts, here’s a look at which AAA albums spent the most weeks on the chart. The...
There are many dying arts in our modern world: incorruptible politicians, faith that things are going to get better and the ability to make decent...
This week we’ve decided to dedicate our top ten to those unsung heroes of music, the session musicians, whose playing often brings AAA artists (and...
Naturally we hold our AAA bands in high esteem in these articles: after all, without their good taste, intelligence and humanity we’d have nothing to...
What do you do when you’ve left a multi-million selling band and yet you still feel the pull of the road and the tours and the playing to audiences...
‘The ATOS Song’ (You’re Not Fit To Live)’ (Mini-Review) Dear readers, we don’t often feature reviews of singles over albums or musicians who aren’t...
In honour of this week’s review of an album released to cash in on a movie soundtrack (only one of these songs actually appears in ‘Easy Rider’...and...
Hic! Everyone raise a glass to the rock stars of the past and to this week’s feature...songs about alcolholic beverages! Yes that’s right, everything...
154) The human singing voice carries with it a vast array of emotions, thoughts that cannot be expressed in any other way except opening the lungs and...
Everyone has a spiritual home, even if they don’t actually live there. Mine is in a windy, rainy city where the weather is always awful but the...
Having a family does funny things to some musicians, as we’ve already seen in this week’s review (surely the only AAA album actually written around...
Some artists just have no idea what their best work really is. One thing that amazes me as a collector is how consistently excellent many of the...
221) Dr Who and the AAA (Five Musical Links) http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.com/2014/01/dr-who-and-five-musical-links-to-alans.html
222) Five Random Recent Purchases http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.com/2014/01/five-random-recent-purchases-news-views.html
223) AAA Grammy Nominees http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.com/2014/02/aaa-grammy-nominees-top-twelve-news.html
224) Ten AAA songs that are better heard unedited and in full http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.com/2014/02/ten-aaa-songs-that-are-better-unedited.html
225) The shortest gaps between AAA albums http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.com/2014/01/the-shortest-gaps-between-aaa-albums.html
226) The longest gaps between AAA albums http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.com/2014/02/the-longest-gaps-between-aaa-albums.html
227) Top ten AAA drummers http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.com/2014/03/top-ten-aaa-drummers-news-views-and.html
228) Top Ten AAA Singles (In Terms of 'A' and 'B' Sides) http://www.alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2014/03/top-ten-aaa-singles-and-b-sides-news.html
229) The Stories Behind Six AAA Logos http://www.alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2014/03/the-stories-behind-six-aaa-logos.html
230) AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!! The Best Ten AAA Screams http://www.alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2014/04/the-best-aaa-screams-top-ten-news-views.html
231) An AAA Pack Of Horses http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2014/04/aaa-songs-about-horses-top-ten-news.html
232) AAA Granamas - Sorry, Anagrams! http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2014/04/aaa-anagrams-news-views-and-music-issue.html
233) AAA Surnames and Their Meanings http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2014/04/aaa-surnames-and-their-meanings-news.html
234) 20 Erroneous AAA Album Titles http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2014/05/twenty-erroneous-aaa-album-titles-news.html
235) The Best AAA Orchestral Arrangements http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2014/05/fifteen-great-aaa-string-parts-news.html
236) Top 30 Hilariously Misheard Album Titles/Lyrics http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2014/05/top-thirty-hilariously-misheard-aaa.html
237) Ten controversial AAA sackings - and whether they were right http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2014/05/ten-controversial-aaa-sackings-news.html
238) A Critique On Critiquing - In Response To Brian Wilson http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2014/06/a-critique-on-critiquing-in-response-to.html
239) The Ten MusicianS Who've Played On The Most AAA Albums http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2014/08/the-ten-musicians-whove-played-on-most.html
240) Thoughts on #CameronMustGo http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2014/11/thoughts-on-cameronmustgo.html
241) Random Recent Purchases (Kinks/Grateful Dead/Nils Lofgren/Rolling Stones/Hollies) http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2014/12/six-random-recent-purchases-kinksg.html
242) AAA Christmas Number Ones http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2014/12/aaa-christmas-number-ones.html
243) AAA Review Of The Year 2014 (Top Releases/Re-issues/Documentaries/DVDs/Books/Songs/ Articles plus worst releases of the year) http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2014/12/aaa-review-of-year-2014.html
244) Me/CFS Awareness Week 2015 http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/mecfs-awareness-week-at-alans-album.html
245) Why The Tory 2015 Victory Seems A Little...Suspicious http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/why-tory-victory-seems-deeply.html
246) A Plea For Peace and Tolerance After The Attacks on Paris - and Syria http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2015/11/a-plea-for-peace-and-toleration.html
247) AAA Review Of The Year 2015 http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2015/12/the-aaa-review-of-year-2015.html
248) The Fifty Most Read AAA Articles (as of December 31st 2015) http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2016/01/the-fifty-most-read-aaa-posts-2008-2015.html
249) The Revised AAA Crossword! http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.com/2016_07_10_archive.html
251) Half-A-Dozen Berries Plus One (An AAA Tribute To Chuck Berry) http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2017/03/an-aaa-covers-tribute-to-chuck-berry.html
254) Guest Post: ‘Supertramp – Some Things Never Change’ by Kenny Brown https://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.com/2018/06/guest-review-supertramp-some-things.html
255) AAA Review Of The Year 2018 https://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.com/2018/12/the-aaa-review-of-year-2018.html
256) AAA Review Of The Year 2019 plus Review Of The Decade 2010-2019 https://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.com/2019/12/the-alans-album-archives-review-of-year.html
257) Tiermaker https://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.com/2019/06/alans-album-archives-on-tiermaker.html
258) #Coronastock https://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.com/2020/04/coronastock.html
259) #Coronadocstock https://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.com/2020/05/coronadocstock.html
