Alan's Album Archives

In-depth reviews of classic or neglected albums, mainly from the 1960s and 70s, now a 30 volume e-book series.Artists covered include Beach Boys, Beatles,Byrds, CSNY, Dire Straits, Grateful Dead, Hollies, Jefferson Airplane/Starship, Kinks, Monkees, Moody Blues, Pink Floyd, Rolling Stones, Searchers, Simon and Garfunkel, Small Faces, 10cc, The Who+Neil Young.Sister site to https://kindredspiritbooks.blogspot.com/ (scifi novels) and https://alonsyaliensdrwho.blogspot.com/ (Dr Who episode reviews)

Saturday, 20 February 2010

News, Views and Music Issue 54 (Top Five): The World's Worst Recording Artists

♫ We’ve spent so long discussing classic classy clever music on this website over the past 101 reviews/53 newsletters that we thought it was about time we reminded ourselves just how amazing and consistent our AAA groups are and how truly terrible some of the others can be. So just for once there are no AAA groups on this top five, just five truly terrible and total turkeys for you to avoid...

5) Cliff Richard. Short hand for: missed the point. To be fair, we ought to be thankful to Cliff – it was his success combined with his sheer awfulness and weak-kneed rock music that caused half of the 60s bands on this list to take up arms and show the world how music should be done. The real problem many people have with Cliff is that he stayed popular, boring us with his weak vocals at tennis matches when we’re already sick of it raining yet again in Wimbledon week (thank goodness for the roof – no more Cliff!) and lending his mansion to prime ministers at a time when the country is in crisis. And as crimes against humanities go, ‘Mistletoe and Wine’ is right up there with the worst of all time. Our favourite Cliff moment: what’s his shortest song again?

4) Donovan. Short hand for: pretentious. He invented the 60s apparently, or a good deal of it at least and anybody who ever played anything even vaguely sounding like acoustic guitar-work owes a huge overwhelming debt to him. Oh and every successful song is ripped off ‘Mellow Yellow’ or ‘Jennifer Juniper’, apparently, awful songs both that might sound to the unacquainted ear as if they have something to say, but truly don’t when you even vaguely start scratching the surface. Pure gibberish played in the same two boring chords is hardly a prototype for the best music on this list or otherwise and its his trite insipid warbling that have encouraged many people to think that 60s music is all as bad as this. It isn’t. Music has soul not a lot of free associating words on a hiding to nothing. And no wonder he dropped his true surname (‘Leitch’, pronounced ‘Leech’) – that’s just too big a gift to reviewers. Our favourite Donovan moment: ‘I remember teaching Paul McCartney a new guitar tuning during his stay with me and some guy named the Maharishi in India and the next day he’d come up with ‘Blackbird’, obviously deeply inspired by my wonderful gift to him and the amazing vibes he felt wafting from me. Perhaps I should ask for a writing credit’ (for tuning a guitar?!)

3) Michael Jackson. Short hand for: scary/over-rated. Oh yes, everybody loves him now he’s dead don’t they? We seem to be the only sane site out there on the net who doesn’t think he’s a moon-walking God these days so let’s remind ourselves: Michael Jackson peaked at the age of 9. Ever since then his music was hyped to a ridiculous degree, repeating the same two hackneyed ideas and he became a puppet for everybody else’s strange ideas. And I’m not even going to mention the cheap shots about his changing skin colour and the child molestation allegations, the music’s enough to be criticising for now, we’ll leave that up to others (see below). Admittedly his weird family and weirder childhood had a lot to do with his transformation from cute kid to adult brat but with all that hype and adoration just think how much good he could have done for music – and how he just wasted it all recycling the same two dull as ditchwater chords. There is nothing inventive in any Michael Jackson songs. Our favourite Michael Jackson moment #1: the moment when, just before a live séance with his ghost, Michael’s hotel manager fondly remembers the time his client asked for a window overlooking the children’s playground. Our favourite Michael Jackson moment #2: ‘I thought about naming our child Prince Michael II but thought that might be a bit weird, so we called him Blanket’. Our favourite Michael Jackson moment #3: that Earth Song promo in which Michael saves the world singlehandedly, accompanied by one of the worst songs of all time. Good on you for wrecking it Jarvis Cocker! Our favourite Michael Jackson moment that, sadly never was: a special recording of the Tweenies theme which would have at least been honest! (Hey! Hey! Are you ready to play? Come along and play with Michael Jackson!)

2) The Beautiful South. Short hand for: smug big headed twonks. I love you from the bottom of my pencil case. For some reason the world loved that line – to me it just sounded like 10cc on a really really bad day. And that was in the days before Rotterdam to Anywhere (which is itself the biggest rip off re-write to make it into the top 10 the Spice Girls didn’t sing) and Don’t Marry Her (which is quite possibly the cruellest, vilest and needlessly filthy song not to be banned from the radio because everybody had cloth ears that month for some reason). I wouldn’t mind were it not for the fact that so many people got taken in by all this awful recycled moronic rubbish (their greatest hits – and no sadly it’s not a blank album but it should be – stayed in the charts for eons, god knows why) and the big-headed band members who kept telling us how great they were and how they’re the only comedy band worth listening to (nope, lost me there – see 10cc if its comedy you’re really after). Our favourite Beautiful South moment: That infamous ‘boat’ interview that killed off their career (but only, alas, among serious collectors) after being filled with so many big headed claims about being the best band in the world (OK, so oasis do it too but at least its tongue in cheek some of the time) and insincerities about being so talented and original that even the interviewer only just managed to stop himself pushing the whole band in the water.

1) The Spice Girls. Short hand for: the five horse girls of the apocalypse who signal how the world is cruising towards destruction. You didn’t think we’d miss out our favourites now did you? From the opening shots of their first promo video (in which scary spice kung fu kicks a tramp and the others all laugh) to their pointless solo releases (which for some reason all sound like Madonna on helium, even the ones by the butch members of the band) to the sheer unprecedented exploitation of it all, few other bands come close. The most annoying thing about this band, though, is that there was the teeniest of talent in there (mainly down to Mel C) and that it all got washed away by middle aged business managers and writers trying to cash in on the latest craze, not to mention the sickening way so many seized on the band for their ‘girl power’ even though the females were simply puppets being used by male record executives to win over young impressionable kids. Just listen to how good they are when they’ve stopped selling and nobody cares what they do (I have to admit a slight respect for their single ‘Goodbye’) – and how bad they are when they’re just going I wanna huh I wanna huh I wanna huh I wanna huh I wanna huh for about half an hour. Our favourite Spice Girls moment: that kung fu kick says so much about this band – how the misguided rich are making idiots of the misguided puppets in their care, even though the spice girls themselves mainly came from the poverty line. Could they really switch their sympathies this quick? Sickening!

Well, now we’ve got that off our chests it’s time to end another issue. We’ll see you back here next week (if the Spice Girls fan club don’t get us!)

A NOW COMPLETE List Of Top Five/Top Ten/TOP TWENTY Entries 2008-2019

143) How Every AAA Band Got Their Name (News, Views and Music 155...

What difference does a name make? Arguably not much if you’re already a collector of a certain group, for whom the names on the album sleeves just...

144) AAA Top 10: The Motor Car (News, Views and Music 156)

This week’s top ten honours the humble motor car. The death trap on wheels, the metaphor for freedom, the put-down of capitalism, a source of...

145) AAA Singles With The Most Weeks On The US Billboard Charts (...

This week we’re going to have a look at the 10 AAA singles that spent the most weeks at number on the American chart ‘Billboard’ – and it makes for...

146) AAA Albums With The Most Weeks On The USA Billboard Charts (...

Following on from last issue’s study of the American Billboard charts, here’s a look at which AAA albums spent the most weeks on the chart. The...

147) AAA Songs Featuring Whistling (News, Views and Music Issue 1...

There are many dying arts in our modern world: incorruptible politicians, faith that things are going to get better and the ability to make decent...

148) The Session Musicians Who've Played On The Most AAA Albums (...

This week we’ve decided to dedicate our top ten to those unsung heroes of music, the session musicians, whose playing often brings AAA artists (and...

149) Top 10 Silliest AAA Album Titles (News, Views and Music Issu...

Naturally we hold our AAA bands in high esteem in these articles: after all, without their good taste, intelligence and humanity we’d have nothing to...

150) A Short Guide To 10 AAA Spin-Off Bands (News, Views and Musi...

What do you do when you’ve left a multi-million selling band and yet you still feel the pull of the road and the tours and the playing to audiences...

151) Martin Kitcher "The ATOS Song (You're Not Fit To Live)"

‘The ATOS Song’ (You’re Not Fit To Live)’ (Mini-Review) Dear readers, we don’t often feature reviews of singles over albums or musicians who aren’t...

152) AAA Songs (More Or Less) Exclusive To Film Soundtracks (News...

In honour of this week’s review of an album released to cash in on a movie soundtrack (only one of these songs actually appears in ‘Easy Rider’...and...

153) AAA Alcohilic-hic! Songs (Top 10 News, Views and Music 164)

Hic! Everyone raise a glass to the rock stars of the past and to this week’s feature...songs about alcolholic beverages! Yes that’s right, everything...

Spoken Word Passages On AAA Songs (News, Views and Music Top...

154) The human singing voice carries with it a vast array of emotions, thoughts that cannot be expressed in any other way except opening the lungs and...

156) AAA Songs About Carlisle (News, Views and Music Top Five Iss...

Everyone has a spiritual home, even if they don’t actually live there. Mine is in a windy, rainy city where the weather is always awful but the...

157) AAA Songs About Children Being Born (News, Views and Music I...

Having a family does funny things to some musicians, as we’ve already seen in this week’s review (surely the only AAA album actually written around...

158) The Best AAA Outtakes (News, Views and Music Issue 168)

Some artists just have no idea what their best work really is. One thing that amazes me as a collector is how consistently excellent many of the...

169) The Last 10 AAA Songs Listed Alphabetically http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/01/the-last-10-aaa-songs-listed.html%20%0d170

170) Tributes To The 10 AAA Stars Who Died The Youngest http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/02/the-10-youngest-aaa-stars-at-time-of.html%20%0d171

171) The 10 Best Songs From The Psychedelia Box-Sets ‘Nuggets’ and ‘Nuggets Two’ http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/02/the-best-of-two-nuggets-psychedelia.html%20%0d172

172) The 20 Most Common Girl’s Names In AAA Song Titles (With Definitions) http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/02/girls-names-in-aaa-song-titles-from.html

17 3) NME/Melody Maker Questionairres Filled Out By AAA Bands http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/nmemelody-maker-questionairres-filled.html

174) Top Ten AAA Bootlegs http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/top-10-aaa-bootlegs-news-views-and.html

175) Days Of The Week AAA Style http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/days-of-week-aaa-style-news-views-and.html

176) AAA Musicals http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/aaa-musicals-news-views-and-music-issue.html

177) Interesting AAA Line-Ups That Were Or Nearly Were http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/04/ten-interesting-aaa-line-ups-that-were.html

178) The 101 Greatest AAA Songs Of All Time (Maybe?!) http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/04/the-greatest-101-aaa-songs-well-ish-see.html

179) Mrs Thatcher Meets The Devil http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/04/mrs-thatcher-meets-devil-plus-intro-for.html

180) First Recordings By Future AAA Stars http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/04/first-

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181) The Ten Oldest AAA Songs http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/04/the-ten-oldest-aaa-songs-news-views-and.html

182) AAA Artists (Books Of Paintings) http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/aaa-artists-books-of-paintings-news.html

183) AAA Appearances on TV Show 'Colour Me Pop' http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/aaa-appearances-on-colour-me-pop-tv.html

184) AAA Years In Song http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/aaa-years-in-song-news-views-and-music.html

185) A Tribute To Storm Thorgerson Via The Five AAA Bands He Worked With http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/a-tribute-to-hipgnosis-via-five-aaa.html

186) Five Top AAA Apps http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/06/top-five-aaa-apps-news-views-and-music.html

187) The Ultimate Grateful Dead Concert Setlist http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/06/the-ultimate-grateful-dead-concert-top.html

188) Surprise! Celebrating 300 Album Reviews With The Biggest 'Surprises' Of The Past Five Years Of Alan's Album Archives! http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/06/celebrating-300-album-reviews-10.html

189) Top Ten Dave Davies Songs http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/06/top-ten-dave-davies-songs-news-views.html

190) Comparatively Obscure First Compositions By AAA Stars http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/07/comparatively-obscure-debut.html

191) Famous AAA Fathers: http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/07/famous-aaa-fathers-news-views-and-music.html

192) The Best Five AAA Re-Issue CD Series http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/07/the-best-five-aaa-re-issues-series-news.html

193) Evolution Of A Band: Comparing First Lyric With Last Lyric: http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/07/evolution-of-band-comparing-1st-lyric.html

194) Ten Of The Best AAA Riffs http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/07/ten-of-best-aaa-riffs-news-views-and.html

195) Twenty AAA Milestone Moments Part One 1956-66 http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/twenty-aaa-milestone-events-part-one.html

196) Twenty AAA Milestone Moments Part Two 1967-80 http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/twenty-aaa-milestone-events-part-two.html

197) Eleven Random Recent Purchases http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/eleven-random-recent-purchases.html

198) Five AAA Outcasts Who Know More Than They Let Onhttp://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/five-aaa-outcast-characters-who-know.html

199) That's Why They Call It The (Top Ten) Blues! http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/09/thats-why-they-call-it-bluesaaa-top-ten.html

200) The Monkees In Relation To Postmodernism (University Dissertation) http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/09/university-dissertation-monkees-in.html

201) The Music Never Stopped: AAA Youtube Video #5 http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/09/the-music-never-stopped-alans-album.html

202) Carly Simon's 'You're So Vain': Was It About One Of The AAA Crew? http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/09/carly-simons-youre-so-vain-was-it-about.html

203) Ten AAA Stars In Further Education http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/09/aaa-stars-in-further-education-top-five.html

204) AAA Dramas and Plays http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/09/aaa-dramas-and-plays-news-views-and.html

205) Abandoned AAA Album Covers http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/09/abandoned-aaa-album-covers-top-ten-news.html

206) Chinese Horoscopes AAA Style http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/10/chinese-horoscopes-aaa-style-top-twelve.html

207) Top Ten Songs The Beatles 'Gave Away' http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/10/top-ten-songs-beatles-gave-away-news.html

208) AAA Song Titles That Are The Same As Other AAA Songs http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/10/aaa-songs-with-same-titles-as-other-aaa.html

209) Updates to Our 'Special Editions' #1 http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/10/updates-to-our-special-editions-on.html

210) Most Parodied AAA Albums http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/11/the-most-parodied-aaa-album-covers-news.html

211) Longest Average AAA Songs Per Album http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/11/the-longest-average-aaa-songs-per-album.html

212) Shortest Average AAA Songs Per Album http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/11/the-shortest-average-aaa-songs-per.html

213) An AAA Guide To The Twenty Best Dr Who Stories http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/11/the-20-best-doctor-who-stories-aaa.html

214) AAA Songs and Albums Based On Books http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/aaa-songsalbums-based-on-books-and.html

215) Top Ten AAA Concert Quotes http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/top-aaa-quotes-from-concerts-top.html

216) Top Ten Surrealist AAA Lyrics http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/top-ten-sureallist-aaa-song-lyrics-news.html

217) AAA 'Christmas Presents' we'd most like to have next year http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/aaa-christmas-presents-wed-most-like-to.html

218) Review Of The Year 2013 http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/review-of-year-2013-news-views-and.html

219) Nominate This Site For A Shorty Award 2014 http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2014/01/nominate-this-site-for-shorty-award-2014.html

220) A Tribute To Phil Everly http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2014/01/a-tribute-to-phil-everly-everly.html

221) Dr Who and the AAA (Five Musical Links) http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.com/2014/01/dr-who-and-five-musical-links-to-alans.html

222) Five Random Recent Purchases http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.com/2014/01/five-random-recent-purchases-news-views.html

223) AAA Grammy Nominees http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.com/2014/02/aaa-grammy-nominees-top-twelve-news.html

224) Ten AAA songs that are better heard unedited and in full http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.com/2014/02/ten-aaa-songs-that-are-better-unedited.html

225) The shortest gaps between AAA albums http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.com/2014/01/the-shortest-gaps-between-aaa-albums.html

226) The longest gaps between AAA albums http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.com/2014/02/the-longest-gaps-between-aaa-albums.html

227) Top ten AAA drummers http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.com/2014/03/top-ten-aaa-drummers-news-views-and.html

228) Top Ten AAA Singles (In Terms of 'A' and 'B' Sides) http://www.alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2014/03/top-ten-aaa-singles-and-b-sides-news.html

229) The Stories Behind Six AAA Logos http://www.alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2014/03/the-stories-behind-six-aaa-logos.html

230) AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!! The Best Ten AAA Screams http://www.alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2014/04/the-best-aaa-screams-top-ten-news-views.html

231) An AAA Pack Of Horses http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2014/04/aaa-songs-about-horses-top-ten-news.html

232) AAA Granamas - Sorry, Anagrams! http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2014/04/aaa-anagrams-news-views-and-music-issue.html

233) AAA Surnames and Their Meanings http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2014/04/aaa-surnames-and-their-meanings-news.html

234) 20 Erroneous AAA Album Titles http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2014/05/twenty-erroneous-aaa-album-titles-news.html

235) The Best AAA Orchestral Arrangements http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2014/05/fifteen-great-aaa-string-parts-news.html

236) Top 30 Hilariously Misheard Album Titles/Lyrics http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2014/05/top-thirty-hilariously-misheard-aaa.html

237) Ten controversial AAA sackings - and whether they were right http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2014/05/ten-controversial-aaa-sackings-news.html

238) A Critique On Critiquing - In Response To Brian Wilson http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2014/06/a-critique-on-critiquing-in-response-to.html

239) The Ten MusicianS Who've Played On The Most AAA Albums http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2014/08/the-ten-musicians-whove-played-on-most.html

240) Thoughts on #CameronMustGo http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2014/11/thoughts-on-cameronmustgo.html

241) Random Recent Purchases (Kinks/Grateful Dead/Nils Lofgren/Rolling Stones/Hollies) http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2014/12/six-random-recent-purchases-kinksg.html

242) AAA Christmas Number Ones http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2014/12/aaa-christmas-number-ones.html

243) AAA Review Of The Year 2014 (Top Releases/Re-issues/Documentaries/DVDs/Books/Songs/ Articles plus worst releases of the year) http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2014/12/aaa-review-of-year-2014.html

244) Me/CFS Awareness Week 2015 http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/mecfs-awareness-week-at-alans-album.html

245) Why The Tory 2015 Victory Seems A Little...Suspicious http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/why-tory-victory-seems-deeply.html

246) A Plea For Peace and Tolerance After The Attacks on Paris - and Syria http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2015/11/a-plea-for-peace-and-toleration.html

247) AAA Review Of The Year 2015 http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2015/12/the-aaa-review-of-year-2015.html

248) The Fifty Most Read AAA Articles (as of December 31st 2015) http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2016/01/the-fifty-most-read-aaa-posts-2008-2015.html

249) The Revised AAA Crossword! http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.com/2016_07_10_archive.html

250) AAA Review Of The Year 2016 http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.com/2016/12/the-aaa-review-of-year-2016.html

251) Half-A-Dozen Berries Plus One (An AAA Tribute To Chuck Berry) http://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2017/03/an-aaa-covers-tribute-to-chuck-berry.html

252) Guest Post: ‘The Skids – Joy’ (1981) by Kenny Brown https://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2017/06/guest-post-skids-joy-1981.html

253) AAA Review Of The Year 2017 https://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.co.uk/2017/12/the-aaa-review-of-year-2017.html

254) Guest Post: ‘Supertramp – Some Things Never Change’ by Kenny Brown https://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.com/2018/06/guest-review-supertramp-some-things.html

255) AAA Review Of The Year 2018 https://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.com/2018/12/the-aaa-review-of-year-2018.html

256) AAA Review Of The Year 2019 plus Review Of The Decade 2010-2019 https://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.com/2019/12/the-alans-album-archives-review-of-year.html

257) Tiermaker https://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.com/2019/06/alans-album-archives-on-tiermaker.html

258) #Coronastock https://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.com/2020/04/coronastock.html

259) #Coronadocstock https://alansalbumarchives.blogspot.com/2020/05/coronadocstock.html

Nils Lofgren and Grin "All Out" (1971) (News, Views and Music 54)

“Write you a sad sad letter, hoping that you’ll feel better, hoping you’ll see everything will be better if you just come true” “My soft heart ain’t looking for traitors, since I can’t even find a part of me to hate her” “You make life when winter falls for me, and I’m cold in winter, can’t you see, baby, I need love or else?” “Wish I had been here to keep the order, but I was chasing outlaws across the border, as sheriff of the town I can’t let it bring me down, he was my son but now he’s just a rusty gun...”

Nils Lofgren and Grin “All Out” (1972)

Before this website came along there were certain albums I was crying out to read about and couldn’t find any mention of anywhere. I’ve addressed quite a few of them on this site now but I’ve delayed adding any more Nils Lofgren albums to this list not because I don’t like them (by and large I adore them) but because I know so frustratingly little about them all. Add in the fact that even the best sellers among them are near-impossible to get hold of (your best bet is ‘Cry Tough’ and even I haven’t tracked that down on CD yet) and I suppose it’s not so much of a surprise that it’s taken me two years to get round to the follow-up I promised you during the ‘Damaged Goods’ review (see no 97 in our ‘review’ section). But not to review somebody’s excellent music because it’s not readily available and little is known about it seems unfair - especially given the amount of heinous Spice Girls that are out there plugging their awful music still – so bear with me if there’s not much to say in this review that you8 hadn’t gleaned from the record already. Anyway, small label Arcadia saved my bacon somewhat a couple of years ago with their fine re-issues of the first three Grin albums (although the first of these is already among the rarest of Nils’ albums currently out) so really there’s no excuse for not buying this album.

Grin should have been big but, like ‘smile’ (what is it with these mouth-related releases?!) the public response seemed to be one big yawn. So let’s re-iterate again for the millionth time on this website: in a parallel universe somewhere the biggest and most respected star of the 1970s and beyond is Nils Lofgren. A hit with critics, a hit with the public and the author of some of the most covered songs of all time, somewhere on this parallel earth I wouldn’t have to tell you anything about Nils Lofgren because everyone would know his name (and the Spice Girls certainly never had a hit in this parallel universe, I can tell you!) Anyway this is Nils in his early days, a promising singer-songwriter barely turned 20 at the end of the road with his first band - also featuring Bob Berberich, a drummer with a soulful voice, and Bob Gordon, an inventive bass player. Nils won his big chance for his band after ambushing Neil Young at a Crazy Horse gig and – being put on the spot to sing his songs with just a guitar – came up trumps. Thanks to Neil’s early backing record label SpinDizzy (part of the CBS company) was up for giving Grin a chance even though the band were all still in their teens at this time.

By the time of this third album ‘All Out’, Grin were already setting out the pattern for much of Nils’ career to come: adored by most critics and ignored by most fans, with this album the last roll of the dice for the band until the label shrugged its shoulders and ceremoniously booted them off the label (Grin did record a fourth album – the under-rated ‘Gone Crazy’ for A and M Records, but its generally agreed amongst fans that most of the hope, drive and energy of the band disappeared when they lost their contract with SpinDizzy). There’s always been a soft spot among collectors for Nils’ four albums with Grin – The best Of The Grin Years, a fair retrospective heavily based around the band’s first two albums is the most common Nils Lofgren CD of all and – shock horror – is still available in most mainstream shops a full four years after its release (something unheard of for every other Nils Lofgren record ever made). They may not be the best albums Nils ever made but even in these early years he’d already mastered the art of composition, specialising in the two extremes of heavy rock songs and slow mournful ballads, and his guitar playing is already up there with the best. A word too for the two Bobs in the band – Gordon’s bass work really adds a great deal to Nils’ compositions, adding a boogie woogie touch to Nils’ more eccentric and out-there compositions and a complex, unexpected feel to his more generic songs whilst Berberich’s soulful bass is a fine counterpoint to Nils’ aggressive tenor and his drumming is equally adept at all the many styles Nils throws at him.

Well, that’s it on the general artist appraisal. Normally on these newsletters we’d be delving into something deeper and a bit more specific to this album about now but to be honest there’s so little known about Nils – especially in this period – that there’s not an awful lot I can add, which is particularly frustrating given that each of these four Grin albums are as different from each other as, say, Neil Young’s first four records (no wonder Nils and Neil got on so well – they chop and change styles almost as much as each other!) There are however several little oddities about this album that I’d love to see explained one day, so here goes; Weird thing about this album no 1: the title ‘All Out’ never actually appears on the cover, which is a weird move given how badly the band wanted people to recognise them in this early success-free period. Weird thing no 2: Even though they were so obscure at this point that nobody outside the band’s inner circle really knew them Grin tackle an otherwise unreleased album track by Roger McGuinn of The Byrds – although ‘Please Don’t Be Long’ sounds much more like Lofgren’s work than theirs and seems to have been written for them, though neither Roger nor Nils have ever spoken much about it. Put yourself back in the mindset of 1972 – when the Byrds were still going, just about, and still carried a certain kudos with collectors and this is very weird indeed. And I think I’m right in saying that apart from a rather weird two-note two-word co-write with Brian Wilson (‘Ding Dang’ on ‘Beach Boys Love You’) this is the only time one of Roger’s songs appears on an album he doesn’t appear on. Weird thing about this album no 3: For the only time in the band’s four album history, bassist Bob Gordon gets a co-credit with Lofgren on the track ‘She Ain’t Right’ and he should have written more – this song is as close to a Grin template as this esoteric band ever got. Weird thing about this album no 4: Towering achievement as it is, previous Grin album ‘1+1’ falls just short of perfection thanks to the lack of either a) huge production values b) backing singers and c) guest musicians. ‘All Out’ has all three of these in spades – and yet ironically it’s an album that should have stuck to its guns and simply kept to the core of the group as its a much rockier, punchier, slightly less ambitious record. Especially PP Arnold’s soul sister Kathy McDonald’s vocals which would have been spot on for soulful ballads like ‘Soft Fun’ on ‘1+1’ but sound woefully out of place on the ‘All Out’ songs. And if it really was a case of Nils getting so hooked on her vocals on one song that he used her more and more (as it says in the excellent Acadia sleeve-notes) then why didn’t David Briggs get out of his producer’s chair and say ‘enough!’ (he was never afraid of saying so on Neil’s albums after all).Weird thing about this album no 5: it took until the band’s third album for Nils’ brother Tom to make an appearance – from here on in he’ll be an ever present face in practically every single one of Nils’ bands and straightaway Grin sound like a ‘band’ here instead of a trio of hardworking musicians covering for the missing hole in the sound. So where was he on albums 1 and 2? Weird thing about this album no 6: Despite its many strengths, it still wasn’t a hit. How hard did this band have to try to make it big, even with the push of Graham Nash (who guested on ‘1+1’), Neil Young (who got the band their contract in the first place) and Neil’s producer David Briggs (who also produced this record), not to mention the kudos Nils had picked up the year before after playing all the best bits on Neil’s ‘After The Goldrush’ album?

To continue this theme, every other Nils Lofgren album bar this one starts in a typically gutsy, ear-catching and generally rocky way, not so much pulling the listener in as whacking him over the head with the greatest riff not written by Pete Townshend, Keith Richards or Ray Davies and a guitar part that defies both belief and gravity. This album starts with ‘Sad Letter’, the most mournful track on the album and a song that builds up slowly from a shy, quiet start into a towering epic. That’s not to say this is a bad move by any means: it’s a brave band who try to seduce their audience with something unexpected as early as the first track on the album and this song is one of Grin’s finest. A regretful, mournful acoustic ballad, with added vibes – in both senses of the word – from the other two musicians, this is Nils at his quiet best, willing his partner-to-be to read between the lines of his love letter. This song also features one of the few instances when Berberich and Lofgren combine their vocals instead of singing against each other and that’s a shame because their vocals here blend together really well. Listen out too for that opening sad guitar lick that lasts a good 30 seconds before the vocals come in – Nils didn’t need to write any words for this song and you’d still know the theme from the atmosphere. As ever with these early Nils songs the lyrics are Grin’s Achilles heel, rarely straying out of the top 40 pop limitations of the day, but musically this song is a big break through for Nils’ sound. He’d written songs this well before – Moon Tears, Beggar’s Day, etc – but never before had one of Nils’ best songs sounded so effortless, with so much work left for the listener to solve and designed to grow rather than grate with every successive listen. Could it be too that Nils had been checking up on his friend Graham Nash’s back catalogue? This song runs very close to The Hollies’ ‘Dear Eloise’ (see ‘Butterfly’, review no 14), a criss-crossing rock/ballad song very much after Nils’ own heart and even ‘borrows’ the rhyme of ‘letter’ and ‘better’.

‘Heavy Chevy’ is back to Nils the rocker, although even this song stretches Nils’ normal formula as its more of a blues-rock hybrid, strutting rather than smoking and achieving its ‘heavy’ sound from suspense rather than flashiness. Again, its the lyrics that fail this song – which sounds like the sort of thing that used to grace the early Beach Boys albums without the twist at the end or the joyfulness – but the band performance is again top notch, with the now four musicians (that’s Tom playing rhythm for the first time) sparking off each other well. Nils’ sawdust-in-the-throat vocal is impressive too for a musician whose still so young and overall this is a song that works far better on record than it must have sounded on the home demo. Like the car, though, this recording is perhaps a little too flat-footed and too self consciously posing to work as well as the other songs on the album.

‘Don’t Be Long’ is the afore-mentioned McGuinn song, although it sounds more like an early Gene Clark song than one of Roger’s more usual songs. A sophisticated acoustic pop song, it has the same folk-rock hybrid feel that The Byrds made their own in 1965, which makes you wonder whether this was an old song McGuinn was sitting on when he passed it onto Nils and co – but if so you wonder why The Byrds never used it (McGuinn in particular was always short of his own material in the 1960s, hence the amount of outside songs the band used to cover as late as the 1970s). The Grin version of this song is handed over to Bob Berberich who does well with the song’s intricate Hillbilly structure, although it’s the first appearance of Kathy McDonald on the background vocals that comes close to scuppering the intimacy of this recording. Until that chorus kicks in, though, it’s a pretty fine recording this one, with Nils showing off his country leanings for, I think, the first time on record.

‘Love Again’ is one of the least successful tracks on the album, but this time it’s more the failure of the recording than the song. Nils’ chunky piano playing (like his performance on ‘Goldrush’ it’s easy to see he leant the keyboard via playing the accordion although he’ll have this sorted by his solo career) does it’s best to suggest a bar-room feel and the opening melody line is lovely, sweeping from the bottom to the top of his register in complete contrast to the rock-steady backing. But part of the problem is that rock-steady backing which doesn’t alter one iota from beginning to end (apart from a slight speed-up towards the end of the song). Confident and expressive as Nils’ vocal is, his swoops up the octaves can’t quite compensate for the sheer repetitiveness of the song which is desperately crying out for a middle eight – or even a proper sitting-in-contrast chorus – to break up the sound. And the first true appearance on this album of Kathy McDonald’s vocals don’t help; she starts off as shrill and loud and then keeps going further verse by verse until you can hear she’s actively ducked in the mix of the last verse so she doesn’t drown everything out. A shame, because the opening two verses are really promising and Nils’ voice has rarely been bettered.

‘She Ain’t Right’ starts out with a chugging bass riff which sounds like the theme tune of a silent comedy (it’s so close to the Laurel and Hardy cuckoo theme you half expect Nils to drawl ‘this is another fine mess you got me in y’awl’). There’s always a joker in the pack on Grin albums, from the laughing hyena on ‘End Unkind’ to the forth-coming ‘Ain’t Love Nice’. But it’s as if the band changed thoughts partway through and decided to turn this song into a demented rocker. The opening section of this song, with Nils and Berberich trading lines to clever effect, is another sign of Grin’s developing confidence and inventiveness and the two Lofgren’s sterling guitar work in the middle of the song is the first real evidence of the brothers’ sixth sense on how to intermingle their chords, a sound that’s still one of the most incredible things you will ever hear once they get it right in the middle 70s. As a prototype of Nils’ songwriting to come it’s fascinating: the hard-done by singer who suddenly drops his gentlemanly ways when his girl seems to be stamping all over him (following on from last week’s top five it comes as no surprise to learn that Nils is a cancerian – hence his many lunar songs like ‘Moon Tears’) is the Nils Lofgren template come his solo albums and here he’s already got the writing device set perfectly. Again, though, Kathy McDonald has to come in to spoil things just as they were looking up, squawling and squeaking her way through the song without ever seemingly taking the trouble to learn the words. Full marks to Grin, though, who get everything else cast perfectly in this all-out rock and roll song that more than deserves a revival in Nils’ fine series of modern-day gigs.

‘Love Or Else’ is one of the album’s best tracks, with the band’s sound reduced to the core of rumbling bass, drums and occasional piano and guitar. Nils’ sawdust vocal and Berberich’s low key low register vocal are the perfect match for this song and the nagging chorus – where both men do their best to coerce the girl of the song – is classic Grin. ‘Love Or Else’ is also one of the simplest songs Nils ever wrote, being little more than a catchy chorus and a slightly more muted verse sung to more or less the same chord progression. Grin, though, were that rare thing in a band – one equally suited to pop and rock – and have obviously been doing their homework, adding their oen distinctive touches to a tried and tested formula that sounds positively Merseybeat-ish at times (especially those classy harmonies and the high –held last chorus note which is pure Lennon/McCartney). And no Kathy McDonald. Things are looking up!

‘Ain’t Love Nice’ is the real joker in the ‘All Out’ pack, another simple song held together by some pretty nifty lyric writing that matches clever rhymes with some simple lines. Even though lines like ‘ain’t war sad, makes you want to cry, ain’t love nice makes you want to dance’ are among the worst any AAA band wrote any time anywhere on any album, it’s still hard to dislike this song, which is quietly chirpy, genuinely catchy and perfectly set between the heavier songs on the album. Bob Berberich also turns in one of his greatest lead vocals for the band (he always seems more at home on these poppier songs than Nils’ rock and roll tunes interestingly) and Nils’ harmonies are excellent again, although it’s Nils’ soulful middle eight – when all hell seems to be breaking loose – that really makes the song. Again, there’s not much more to write about for this song which is just another simple pop song played well.

‘Heart On Fire’ is the album’s other classic, an epic that’s almost double the length of the other songs on the album and finds Nils’ vocal at his grittiest and raw in stark contrast to the largely pretty surroundings of the backing (especially that twinkling piano). Even Kathy McDonald sounds fairly suitable here (and she actually gets some decent lyrics to sing – was this the track she was hired for, per chance, before the group dug her sound so much they used her on everything?!) and shows just how well she can do when given something other than warbling to do (although her ‘sssssssssock it to me darlin’ wahhhh wahhh wahhhhhhhhhh’ on the fade-out is still pretty cringe-inducing). This is another of those early Lofgren songs about addiction and infatuation and how these unusual, deeply felt emotions run in stark contrast to it’s narrator’s usual attitude to life. Unlike the other more straightforward songs on this album this song is tension all the way, with Lofgren stringing out his lines as if his character is speaking them against his better judgement, with each sight of his beloved wringing yet more feelings out of him that he never wanted to admit (until the tag, at least, when it’s clear he’s finally caught his goal). Nils’ guitar playing on the fade-out is among his greatest up to that point and it’s remarkable how in control he manages to keep the sound despite it being on the edge of feedback throughout. A remarkable song from one so young and another song that shows the template for Nils’ songs to come was already forming as early as this third Grin album.

‘All Out’is the one song on this album’s that has endured in Nils’ set lists down the years which is odd both because of how many of the ‘1+1’ songs are still there (Moon Tears, Soft Fun, etc) and because this must surely count as one of the worst songs of Nils’ career. One of those awful spoof country its-been-hard-in-the-country-since-my-little-ole-guitar-died piano songs, it comes close to matching the sheer inanity of the Rolling Stones’ awful country songs (although it would have been good practice had Nils got Ronnie Wood’s job in that band as rumoured in 1974). Berberich sings the first verse with a slight hiccup in his voice although even that sounds better than Nils’ scratchy take on the song in the second verse. As for the song itself, the tune would be quite sweet without both the tack piano and Kathy McDonald’s latest attempts to sound like PP Arnold but the lyrics don’t make an awful lot of sense (‘all out, next time they’ll nickname me fool’ – what is all that about exactly?) and too often stray to the cliché so abhorrently common in country songs about empty bottles and empty hearts. To be fair I’ve heard a lot worse than this, but why ‘all out’ should be the song from this album that everyone knows when there’s nine other better songs on the album is beyond me.

‘Rusty Gun’ is a curious way to end the album. Content to work on his electric guitar prowess for most of the album, Nils turns to his first love – the accordion – and his under-rated acoustic guitar playing for the finale. But the whole thing is so muted, it even fades at the beginning for goodness sake – a long standing no no among musicians (although The Beatles’ ‘Eight Days A Week’ broke that mould unlike most things the Beatles changed it still continues pretty much to this day). We then get a very strange song indeed – one slow drawn out verse which is pretty impressive in its own sweet way, with Nils’ many overdubs sounding pretty good together here and a nicely subdued laid back atmosphere. The lyrics also pre-empt many a future Lofgren song with the latest narrator trying to keep the peace in a town filled with outlaws and keeping tabs on whose shooting who. The song turns when this self-proclaimed sheriff sees his brother lying in the street dead ‘like a rusty gun’, however, sparking off a ridiculous display of fast-paced guitar pinging which is extremely impressive but doesn’t quite fit. Perhaps if Nils’ narrator voice had come back in again with another take on how this one moment changed his life this song might have been another classic – but no, that’s it, with the record signing off very un-expectedly on a slow fade-out as the guitarist gradually runs out of steam. Most CD copies have added the fine if short period B-side ‘Just To Have You’ on the end of this album and you have to say it makes for a much more complete and rounded close to the album, even though it doesn’t strictly belong. A strange way for the band to end their career with SpinDizzy, especially given that all the ingredients of a memorable song are here – they just haven’t been organised in quite the right way.

So there we have it. ‘All Out’ is, like all the Grin albums, a mixed affair containing some absolutely mind blowing recordings, a handful of templates that will lead to greatness later on but haven’t quite been sorted into shape just yet and a small pile of recordings that should have been left on the cutting room floor. But if Grin occasionally sound like a band that’s trying too hard and are just that little bit too inexperienced to make the most of their many plus points, that’s because they were all terribly young and despite the help of Nash, Young and Briggs never had a single character sitting in the control room believing in them and helping them every step of the way. Given the speed at which these songs were written (8 by Nils on his own, one co-write and a cover) and the fact that this album came hard on the heels of Grin’s previous two and its clear just how drop dead amazing these recordings could have been with a little more time and a little more money. But even as they are these early Grin records are pretty special (yep, eve the much hated ‘Gone Crazy’ has its moments) and if you’re a collector whose gotten bored of buying all the Neil Young LPs (though those alone should keep you busy for years to come now there’s over 50 of them!) you could do worse than to give this group a try. They might just put a grin on your face. Overall rating: ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ (7/10).

News, Views and Music Issue 54 (Intro)

February 20:

♫ Hello and welcome to issue no 54 of News, Views and Music. To fill you in on what’s happening to us, well our computer’s gone wrong (again!), my chronic fatigue has gone into hyperdrive (again!) and its snowed (again!) So apologies if this ends up being a rather short issue this week – hopefully we’ll be back up to speed next issue. In the meantime, thanks to all of you who have been logging on to the site (we’ve just passed the 650 mark which isn’t bad for a website that’s only been up in its new home for five months or so) and especially to those of you who’ve been leaving me messages (yes indeed, Lizzie, your contributions are the genius parts of the site, how can I argue with that?) Whether you want to praise, erase or liaise about which albums to review next (or even which colour scheme you want the next issue to have) simply leave me a message on our ‘about the site’ page. Till then, happy reading!

♫ Neil Young News: For possibly the first time in his life ever, Neil attended an awards ceremony at the end of last month – an event dedicated to both his music and his work for charities (the Bridge School benefit Trust among others). Sadly there were no Buffalo Springfield or CSNY reunions but a star studded cast list including Elton john performed their favourite songs from Neil’s ridiculously long list of classics. We never got an invite, though, so alas we can’t fill you in on any more details...

♫ ANNIVERSARIES: Hip Hip Hooray its birthday time again for AAA musicians born February 13^th-20^th: Peter Tork (bassist and pianist with The Monkees 1966-68) who turns 64 on February 13^th; Mick Avory (drummer with The Kinks 1964-84) who turns 66 on February 15^th; Yoko Ono who turns 77 on February 18^th and Alan Hull (guitarist and songwriter with Lindisfarne 1970-95) who would have been 65 on February 20^th. Anniversaries of events include: The Who record their infamous ‘Live At Leeds’ set on Valentine’s day 1970 at Leeds University; The Who also see their first – and one of their only – live appearance of concept piece ‘Lifehouse’, the long awaited follow-up to ‘Tommy’. The show is abandoned after only a handful of performances and the double album work is later cut down to the single album ‘Who’s Next’ (February 15^th 1971); John and George and families fly out to join the Maharishi for the start of a multi-month stay in India – Paul and Ringo and families join in a couple of days later (February 16^th 1968); The Beatles release ‘Strawberry Fields Forever’ and ‘Penny Lane’ as a single, two songs recorded the previous December and intended for the ‘Sgt Peppers’ album (February 17^th 1967); Pink Floyd premiere ‘Dark Side Of The Moon’ in a concert at London’s Rainbow Theatre after a failed attempt the week before (ruined by a sticking backing tape containing sound effects) – several songs will be altered before they appear on record but already the new songs are judged to be a success (February 17^th 1972); John Lennon releases his last pre-retirement LP: ‘Rock and Roll’ a half baked collection of half baked 50s standards (February 17^th 1975); The Who’s first ‘proper’ single (ie one recorded under The Who name) I Can’t Explain makes the charts (February 18^th 1965); David Gilmour officially joins Pink Floyd, covering for an ailing Syd Barrett who is gradually phased out of the band over the next few shows (February 18^th 1968); Lulu marries Bee Gee Maurice Gibb in Buckinghamshire (February 18^th 1969) and Wings’ first single to be banned from radio airplay – the under-rated Give Ireland Back To The Irish – is released just weeks before the second (the drug-fuelled ‘Hi Hi Hi’) (February 19^th 1972).

And happy birthday to the next batch of AAA luminaries (February 21^st-27^th): Nicky Hopkins (session musician who played on top 101 records by Grateful Dead, George Harrison, The Kinks, The Rolling Stones and The Who) would have been 66 on February 24^th; George Harrison would have been 67 on February 25^th and Johnny Cash would have been 78 on February 26^th. Anniversaries of events include: A busy day in 1964 sees ‘breakthrough’ discs by two AAA bands – The Stones’ first top five hit ‘Not Fade Away’ and the Hollies’ first top five hit ‘Just One Look’ (February 21^st); The Beatles start filming for their second film ‘Help!’ following a busy month at Abbey Road recording the first side of the soundtrack album (February 22nd 1965); Lennon’s last pre-retirement hit ‘#9 Dream’ charts – at no 9 very neatly – in America (February 22^nd 1974); 10cc sign with Mercury Records after two years with Jonathon King’s UK label (February 22^nd 1975); Cat Stevens’ first LP is released: named ‘Matthew and Son’ if you live in Britain and ‘Cats and Dogs’ in most of the rest of the world (February 24^th 1967); The Byrds fly away for good after a farewell show at New Jersey’s Capital Theatre on February 24^th 1973; The Beatles’ first American single is released – no, not Capitol’s record breaking ‘I want To Hold Your Hand’ but the smaller Vee Jay label with an un-charting ‘Please Please Me’ (February 25^th 1963 – the band are infamously mis-spelled as ‘The Beattles’ on the label!); A bill proposing to ban all sale of r and b and rock music is rejected in the American House of Representatives. Thank goodness for that – or this website would be talking about the 101 greatest Garden Gnomes or something equally unlikely (February 26^th 1954); Pink Floyd’s first ever recording session takes place at Abbey Road – it results in debut single ‘Arnold Layne’ (February 27^th 1967); Paul McCartney releases his first solo single ‘Another Day’ February 27^th 1971) and finally the watershed moment in Rolling Stones history – Keith Richards’ drugs bust in Toronto which came close to seeing him spend the rest of the 70s behind bards – takes place on February 27^th 1977.

Saturday, 20 February 2010

News, Views and Music Issue 54 (Top Five): The World's Worst Recording Artists

Nils Lofgren and Grin "All Out" (1971) (News, Views and Music 54)

News, Views and Music Issue 54 (Intro)

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