Now available to buy in e-book format as part of 'A Scrapbook Of Madness - The Alan's Album Archives Guide To...Alan's Album Archives' by clicking here
The Earth’s favourite monkeynuts music newsletter
Also available in ‘Hellopshere’, ‘Zigorosian’ and ‘Kllingon’
“Remember that day? When the Mrasianarts, the policemen of the solar system found our space module and came to check us out. That when they saw what our species had done to our planet, what we were doing to our least fortunate inhabitants, all the wars being fought, all the back-stabbing, all the money-grabbing, all the greed, they wanted to destroy us. They’d seen our like before, they said, that once we started perfecting inter-stellar travel the universe wouldn’t be safe. And then something magical happened. One of the delegates from Zigorous Three investigating Earth discovered our music hidden away on an underground site called ‘Alan’s Album Archives’. Then another found our paintings, where they’d been hidden for safe keeping. Another found our sculptures, yet another our film library. And they were forced to accept that our race is capable of tremendous beauty as well as hatred. And that confused them, because every other race had been one or the other, destroyers or creators, they had never been one or the other before. Mankind still lives under this shadow and, far from slowing down, his cruelties get wider and nastier every passing year since the discovery was made. But now our art flows as never before, with so many worlds to explore and so many new ideas to express. We can offer something, you and I. Don’t let it be in vain. And don’t let your time on this planet be for nothing! Mankind deserves to life. Even those who have shown cruelty deserve mercy, because that’s how we have been programmed to be all these years. But forget your disgraced leaders, who brought you into difficulties, who ran your wells dry, who made it forsaken to show any sympathy with another culture, to breed hate against what was different from you. All life-forms need to grow, to mix with others, to spread their wings as far out into the galaxy as they can reach. Some life-forms find this easier than others, but all do so in the end. Of all the known intelligent species only man has yet to embrace his differences and celebrate his similarities. It is time for mankind to grow up, to look into his oppressors’ face and say ‘I am not afraid because I am right to fight those who would imprison another man’s thoughts’ and reach forth into the future that is his by right. Man has his duty, not to obey or to survive, but to make the world a better place for those he shares the planet with. The time for making that world a better place is now. Brothers, we can be free, we shall be free and we will be free – whether in success or death I don’t know, but we will be free.”
Since the fall of the Coalition Government, arts productions on Earth have gone through the roof –although, of course, funding has been drastically cut during the past few decades. So we at the AAA have decided to fund the new series featuring everyone’s favourite time lord. And we have an exclusive sneak preview of what to expect from the seven-part series this Autumn. Just like last year the show will star Tom Cruise and Christina Ricci with Star Trek Captain Patrick Stewart as The Master and it will once again be broadcast by the new look BBC (British Belobrat Corporation). For fans who don’t remember, the Dr ended last year’s run of stories by turning his back on the
Life seem alien to you? Get a good night’s sleep with our new patent-proved UFO-pills and be back to your old self in no time!
...WITH THANKS TO OUR COLLEAGUES AT BoFACE TM TIME TRAVEL
IN 2022 WE SENT OUR ROVING REPORTER