Monday 19 May 2014

Top Thirty Hilariously Misheard AAA Album Titles/Lyrics

Ho ho ho - my spellchecker definitely has a sense of humour after re-naming the above album review 'Wigs at the Speed Of Sound'! Which put me in a mischievous mood - wondering what other AAA album titles have been misheard over the years and what album titles might be ripe for a chuckle? A thought which reminded me of a Twitter trend for changing a letter of an album title I may have subconsciously 'borrowed' for some of this post (sorry if I nicked your idea). While researching with that project in mind I then found even more for 'song lyrics that have been misheard' down the years, so this week you lucky readers get both! Who said I wasn't generous eh? Well, my spellchecker actually who wanted to change that word to 'onerous'. Anyway, here in chronological order is a top ten of titles (mainly by me) and a top ten of song lyrics (mainly submitted by other people to the 'misheard lyrics' site www.kiss - its named after the famous mishearing of the Jimi Hendrix song 'Purple Haze' which should of course read 'kiss the sky'!) :

1) "Eat The Searchers" (should be 'Meet The Searchers', 1963)

Mmm what a 'tasty' album, surely containing 'sugars and spice' and 'sweets for my sweet'! Does it come in scratch and sniff?!

2) "Mr Tangerine Man" (should be 'Mr Tambourine Man', The Byrds 1964)

He's going to have a hard job playing with only fruit at his disposal - although given how 'trippy' a lot of Dylan's lyrics are this might make as much sense! Accompanied by the B-side 'I'll probably peel a whole lot better'.

3) "Rubber Sole" (should be 'Rubber Soul', The Beatles 1965)

Special fish version: includes the tracks 'In My Pike' 'Drive My Carp' 'Michelle(fish)' 'Bait' and 'Norwegian Woodback' (yes, folks, I'm here all week!)

4) "Wet Sounds" (should be 'Pet Sounds', The Beach Boys 1966)

Or 'wouldn't it be nice to go fishing?' as the Beach Boys hang up their surfboards for rod and tackle. Gives a whole new meaning to 'let's go away for a whale'.

5) "Evolver" (should be 'Revolver', The Beatles 1966)

A possible Beatle re-telling of 'Origins Of The Species' where man starts out as a Neanderthal Taxman, progresses via a mysterious 'Yellow Submarine' left by aliens a la 2001 and ends up as....well, Tomorrow Never Knows!

6) "Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Tim" (should be 'Parsley, Sage , Rosemary and Thyme', Simon and Garfunkel, 1967)

Prog rock concept album in which the eponymous Tim goes to Scarborough Fair to do some shopping before he's (you guessed it) 'Homeward Bound'. Hope he bought some 'Sounds of Salad' along the way. 

7) "Cheggar's Banquet" (should be 'Beggar's Banquet', The Rolling Stones, 1968)

Scary nightmare in which Keith Chegwin remixes a classic Stones LP! 'Sympathy For The Devil' segueing into 'Agadoo'?! Horrors!

8) "Exile On Pain Street" (should be 'Exile On Main Street', The Rolling Stones, 1972)

In which the Stones go to 'Dear Doctor' and ask him to 'Shine A Light' - see, this post is almost writing itself!

9) "Band On The Rug" (should be 'Band On The Run', Paul McCartney and Wings, 1974)

In which Wings escape prison long enough to buy a 'Jet' black rug vintage 1985 from a Mrs Vanderbilt's antique shop before asking each other to 'Let Me Roll It' only unfortunately the rug was diseased so everyone catches Mamunia (whatever that actually is). There are No Words to describe the rest of this album, which is probably just as well.

10) "Buddha and the Chocolate Fox" (should be 'Buddha and the Chocolate Box' , Cat Stevens, 1974)

Yummy! And arguably no dafter than the real album with its chocolate Buddhas. This special 'Basil Brush' remix features an extra special 'Boom! Boom!' after every chorus.

11) "Still Hazy After All These Years" (should be 'Still Crazy After All These Years', 1975)

In which Paul Simon recalls his mis-spent youth, remembering '50 Hazes To Leave Your Lover In' and 'My Little Hazy Town'.  

12) "Pug Of War" (should be 'Tug Of War', Paul McCartney 1982)

Beware the dogs of war - well the pugs at any rate! They come in shades of 'Ebony and Ivory', can be 'Dressed Up Like A Robber' and leave you wishing that they could all be 'Take(n) It Away'. 

13) "Dirty Wok" (should be 'Dirty Work', The Rolling Stones, 1984)

Or 'Cooking with the Rolling Stones'. Well, I'd buy it - just for the cover of them all in their florescent tracksuits and the jokes about the pineapple tree Keith Richards keeps climbing.

14) "Harvest Moo" (should be 'Harvest Moon', Neil Young, 1992)

From Hank To Hendrix, everybody loves milk. Well except for people like me who are allergic to it (hurray for soya beans!) but anyway, One Of These Days I'm going to sit down and write a long letter - probably a milk bill. Remember a cow is a 'Natural Beauty' preserved like a monument to nature. It's all very mooo-ving.

15) "Standing On The Shoulders Of Ants" (should be Standing On The Shoulders Of Giants', Oasis, 2000)

Oasis' most humble album, in which they ponder Where Did It All Go Wrong?' and whether they should 'Go Let It Out' at all, before discovering a 'Wasp Panic!'
And the top fifteen misheard AAA lyrics that tickled my funnybone:

1) The Beach Boys, 'Wouldn't It Be Nice?' (Pet Sounds, 1966):

"Wouldn't it be nice if we could yodel, then we wouldn't have to wait so long!"

The true lyrics is of course 'Wouldn't it be nice if we were older?' but I love this interpretation of the lyrics, as if nights of yodelling together with his girlfriend will truly make this narrator's cares fade away...

2) The Beatles, 'Here There and Everywhere' (Revolver, 1966):

"...And if she's beside me I know I need Medicare..."

A joke for our American readers (if you're British and are reading this before 2015 then think the NHS - any time after and goodness only knows what we'll get when the Coalition kill it off...) The real lyric should of course be 'And if she's beside me I need never care'. This misinterpretation changes the stance of the rest of the song and makes it sound rather creepy, actually, as if the girlfriend is waiting to murder the narrator and he can never escape her...

3) The Beatles, 'And Your Bird Can Sing' (Revolver, 1966)

"...You may be a Vulcan, I'll be round, I'll be round!..."

The Beatles were all Star Trek friends to some extent which taken together with the fact that 'And Your Bird Can Sing' is one of Lennon's 'nonsense' songs that could mean anything makes this a rather pleasing reading of the song. Beware that Vulcan death grip - and your tribbles can sing, but you won't get me, I'm Captain Kirk!

4) Jefferson Airplane, 'White Rabbit' (Surrealistic Pillow, 1967):

"...Tell them all Hugo the smoking caterpillar has given you the call..."

'White Rabbit' is a song all about drugs so inevitably there are lots of weird interpretations for practically every line (though few can be as, erm, inventive as what Lewis Carroll wrote in inspiring the song). My favourite, though, changes a 'hookah-smoking caterpillar' to 'Hugo the Smoking Caterpillar', who sounds a much friendlier kind of chap!

5) Otis Redding "(Sittin' On The) Dock Of The Bay" (Single, 1968)

"I'm just sitting on the back of a duck, wasting time..."

I owe this one to the excellent tome of the same name by Graham Jones, subtitled 'Overheard gems from record shops' which features several similar strange requests for songs (although sadly this is the only real AAA one). The original is truly sad, with nowhere to go but the empty socks - this version sounds much happier, with the gentle giant of soul astride a duck, watching the world go by.

6) Simon and Garfunkel "America" (Bookends, 1968)

"...Captain Picard on the New Jersey turnpike, they've all come to look for America..."

Another Star Trek reference for you, this time from the Simon and Garfunkel classic. The two young lovers are looking out the window of their train, dreaming of their new home together, when what do they see? Well, the original is of course 'Counting the cars on the New Jersey turnpike' as they see so many other optimistic souls like themselves starting over. This version fits too though with its promise of a new life in the stars beyond. Let's hope the pair boldly go...

7) The Beatles "Back In The USSR" (The White Album, 1968)

"Do we bomb Miami Beach or UAC? Didn't get to sleep last night..."

A far less friendly interpretation of Paul McCartney's cold war soothing Beach Boys pastiche which replaced all the American names with Russian ones. Paul really garbles his opening line 'Flew in from Miami Beach via BUAC' so its not surprising so many people misheard these lyrics. This interpretation works quite well, actually, the bomber being sick into a paper bag as he regrets wiping so many innocent civilians out. 

8) Simon and Garfunkel "The Boxer" (Bridge Over Troubled Water, 1969)

"...Just come from the Toy zone, 7th Avenue..."

This is from the verse in the classic 'The Boxer' where the only warmth and comfort the narrator can get is artificial and has to be paid for, 'The Whore Zone, 7th Avenue'. This version fits just as well however: perhaps Paul Simon's character should have saved his money up and gone to 'Toys 'R' Us' instead?

9) Stephen Stills, 'Love The One You're With' (Stephen Stills, 1970)

"...And if you can't be with the one you live, love the wonder witch!"

That wonder witch you know - she flies around not with a cat on a broomstick but an eagle and a dove who are clearly in love, but she's always there for lonely souls who have no one else to be with. Personally I really love this storybook misinterpretation of the classic line 'If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with!'

10) The Hollies, 'Long Cool Woman In A Black Dress' (A Distant Light, 1971)

"Sitting in a nest with Batman, just to find me a beautiful song!"

Or 'Long Cool Robin In A Black Dress', which is definitely the way the modern films should go I think. Erm, anyway, this version has the undercover FBI narrator following his supect and getting help not from a 'nest of bad men' but from the caped crusader Batman himself. The rest of the lyric by the way should be '5 foot 9, beautiful, tall', but I can't bring myself to write about Batman in those terms...

11) Ringo Starr "Back Off Boogaloo" (Single, 1971)

"Back off to the loo, what you think you're gonna do? back off to the loo-hoo!"

Well it makes more sense than the real version, inspired by Ringo's buddy Marc Bolan who made 'Boogaloo' one of his favourite sayings. 

12) Pink Floyd "One Of These Days" (Meddle, 1972)

"One of these days I'm going to dance with the little people..."

A biot of an explanation for this one if you don't know the song: There's only one line of dialogue for it, the rather creepy 'One of these days I'm going to cut you into little pieces!' Spoken by a slowed-down and electronically treated Nick Mason, it's hard to interpret and is open to many possible readings. This one is the best, though, instantly turning this scary, paranoid, frenetic song into one about dancing leprechauns! 

13) Rolling Stones "Beast Of Burden" (Some Girls, 1978)

"I'll never be your Easter bunny!"

'Beast of burden' isn't exactly a well worn phrase so I have sympathy with the poster who genuinely assumed that Mick Jagger was cooing to his wife 'I'll never be your Easter Bunny' instead. Other Stones classics on a similar theme might include 'I've Rabbit With You' and 'Paint It, Jackrabbit'.

14) George Harrison, "All Those Years Ago" (Somewhere In England, 1981)

"You were the one they all said was so weird, although she's a girl..."
George Harrison's moving tribute to John Lennon is given a whole new meaning here, turning the subject of the song into a crossdresser. I'd never noticed how close the line 'Although she's a girl' was to 'All those years ago' - it actually fits really well (too well - I'll never hear it the same way again now...)

15) George Harrison "I've Got My Mind Set On You" (Cloud Nine, 1987)

"Get up or I'll sit on you!"

And finally we're back with George again for the manic hit single where the vocal's completely drowned out by the drums anyway. This is another lyrics that sounds remotely plausible ('...But it's going to take plenty of money' suggesting bribery, '...patience and time...' suggesting a bullying elder brother) if you don't know what the song is meant to be called. 

Oh and 16) Our obligatory Spice Girls reference:

"I really really really wanna smoke a big cigar!"

Well, let's face it - anything is better than the gibberish original which is apparently that erudite sentence: 'I really really really wanna zig-a-aig-ah!' No, we have no idea what it means either - or why anyone would listen to a Spice Girls song long enough to misinterpret it!

That's all from us for now! We'll be back mangling song lyrics - erm, no, detailing them with warmth and sincerity next week with more News, Views and Music. See you then!

A NOW COMPLETE List Of Top Five/Top Ten/TOP TWENTY  Entries 2008-2019
1) Chronic Fatigue songs

2) Songs For The Face Of Bo

3) Credit Crunch Songs

4) Songs For The Autumn

5) National Wombat Week

6) AAA Box Sets

7) Virus Songs

8) Worst AAA-Related DVDs

9) Self-Punctuating Superstar Classics

10) Ways To Know You Have Turned Into A Collector

11) Political Songs

12) Totally Bonkers Concept Albums

13) Celebrating 40 Years Of The Beatles' White Album

14) Still Celebrating 40 Years Of The Beatles' White Album

15) AAA Existential Questions

16) Releases Of The Year 2008

17) Top AAA Xmas Songs

18) Notable AAA Gigs

19) All things '20' related for our 20th issue

20) Romantic odes for Valentine's Day

21) Hollies B sides

22) 'Other' BBC Session Albums

23) Beach Boys Rarities Still Not Available On CD

24) Songs John, Paul and George wrote for Ringo's solo albums

25) 5 of the Best Rock 'n' Roll Tracks From The Pre-Beatles Era

26) AAA Autobiographies

27) Rolling Stones B-sides

28) Beatles B-Sides

29) The lllloooonnngggeesssttt AAA songs of all time

30) Kinks B-Sides

31) Abandoned CSNY projects 'wasted on the way'

32) Best AAA Rarities and Outtakes Sets

33) News We've Missed While We've Been Away

34) Birthday Songs for our 1st Anniversary

35) Brightest Album Covers

36) Biggest Recorded Arguments

37) Songs About Superheroes

38) AAA TV Networks That Should Exist

39) AAA Woodtsock Moments

40) Top Moments Of The Past Year As Voted For By Readers

41) Music Segues

42) AAA Foreign Language Songs

43) 'Other' Groups In Need Of Re-Mastering

44) The Kinks Preservation Rock Opera - Was It Really About The Forthcoming UK General Election?

45) Mono and Stereo Mixes - Biggest Differences

46) Weirdest Things To Do When A Band Member Leaves

47) Video Clips Exclusive To Youtube (#1)

48) Top AAA Releases Of 2009

49) Songs About Trains

50) Songs about Winter

51) Songs about astrology plus horoscopes for selected AAA members

52) The Worst Five Groups Ever!

53) The Most Over-Rated AAA Albums

54) Top AAA Rarities Exclusive To EPs

55) Random Recent Purchases (#1)

56) AAA Party Political Slogans

57) Songs To Celebrate 'Rock Sunday'

58) Strange But True (?) AAA Ghost Stories

59) AAA Artists In Song

60) Songs About Dogs

61) Sunshiney Songs

62) The AAA Staff Play Their Own Version Of Monoploy/Mornington Crescent!

63) What 'Other' British Invasion DVDs We'd Like To See

64) What We Want To Place In Our AAA Time Capsule

65) AAA Conspiracy Theroies

66) Weirdest Things To Do Before - And After - Becoming A Star

67) Songs To Tweet To

68) Greatest Ever AAA Solos

69) John Lennon Musical Tributes

70) Songs For Halloween

71) Earliest Examples Of Psychedelia

72) Purely Instrumental Albums

73) AAA Utopias

74) AAA Imaginary Bands

75) Unexpected AAA Cover Versions

76) Top Releases of 2010

77) Songs About Snow

78) Predictions For 2011

79) AAA Fugitives

80) AAA Home Towns

81) The Biggest Non-Musical Influences On The 1960s

82) AAA Groups Covering Other AAA Groups

83) Strange Censorship Decisions

84) AAA Albums Still Unreleased on CD

85) Random Recent Purchases (#2)

86) Top AAA Music Videos

87) 30 Day Facebook Music Challenge

88) AAA Documentaries

89) Unfinished and 'Lost' AAA Albums

90) Strangest AAA Album Covers

91) AAA Performers Live From Mars (!)

92) Songs Including The Number '100' for our 100th Issue

93) Most Songs Recorded In A Single Day

94) Most Revealing AAA Interviews

95) Top 10 Pre-Fame Recordings

96) The Shortest And Longest AAA Albums

97) The AAA Allstars Ultimate Band Line-Up

98) Top Songs About Sports

99) AAA Conversations With God

100) AAA Managers: The Good, The Bad and the Financially Ugly

101) Unexpected AAA Cameos

102) AAA Words You can Type Into A Caluclator

103) AAA Court Cases

104) Postmodern Songs About Songwriting

105) Biggest Stylistic Leaps Between Albums

106) 20 Reasons Why Cameron Should Go!

107) The AAA Pun-Filled Cookbook

108) Classic Debut Releases

109) Five Uses Of Bird Sound Effects

110) AAA Classic Youtube Clips Part #1

111) Part #2

112) Part #3

113) AAA Facts You Might Not Know

114) The 20 Rarest AAA Records

115) AAA Instrumental Songs

116) Musical Tarot

117) Christmas Carols

118) Top AAA Releases Of 2011

119) AAA Bands In The Beano/The Dandy

120) Top 20 Guitarists #1

121) #2

122) 'Shorty' Nomination Award Questionairre

123) Top Best-Selling AAA Albums

124) AAA Songs Featuring Bagpipes

125) A (Hopefully) Complete List Of AAA Musicians On Twitter

126) Beatles Albums That Might Have Been 1970-74 and 1980

127) DVD/Computer Games We've Just Invented

128) The AAA Albums With The Most Weeks At #1 in the UK

129) The AAA Singles With The Most Weeks At #1 in the UK

130) Lyric Competition (Questions)

131) Top Crooning Classics

132) Funeral Songs

133) AAA Songs For When Your Phone Is On Hold

134) Random Recent Purchases (#3)

135) Lyric Competition (Answers)

136) Bee Gees Songs/AAA Goes Disco!

137) The Best AAA Sleevenotes (And Worst)

138) A Short Precise Of The Years 1962-70

139) More Wacky AAA-Related Films And Their Soundtracks

140) AAA Appearances On Desert Island Discs

141) Songs Exclusive To Live Albums

142) More AAA Songs About Armageddon

What difference does a name make? Arguably not much if you’re already a collector of a certain group, for whom the names on the album sleeves just...

This week’s top ten honours the humble motor car. The death trap on wheels, the metaphor for freedom, the put-down of capitalism, a source of...

This week we’re going to have a look at the 10 AAA singles that spent the most weeks at number on the American chart ‘Billboard’ – and it makes for...

Following on from last issue’s study of the American Billboard charts, here’s a look at which AAA albums spent the most weeks on the chart. The...

There are many dying arts in our modern world: incorruptible politicians, faith that things are going to get better and the ability to make decent...

This week we’ve decided to dedicate our top ten to those unsung heroes of music, the session musicians, whose playing often brings AAA artists (and...

Naturally we hold our AAA bands in high esteem in these articles: after all, without their good taste, intelligence and humanity we’d have nothing to...

What do you do when you’ve left a multi-million selling band and yet you still feel the pull of the road and the tours and the playing to audiences...

‘The ATOS Song’ (You’re Not Fit To Live)’ (Mini-Review) Dear readers, we don’t often feature reviews of singles over albums or musicians who aren’t...

In honour of this week’s review of an album released to cash in on a movie soundtrack (only one of these songs actually appears in ‘Easy Rider’...and...

Hic! Everyone raise a glass to the rock stars of the past and to this week’s feature...songs about alcolholic beverages! Yes that’s right, everything...

154) The human singing voice carries with it a vast array of emotions, thoughts that cannot be expressed in any other way except opening the lungs and...

Everyone has a spiritual home, even if they don’t actually live there. Mine is in a windy, rainy city where the weather is always awful but the...

Having a family does funny things to some musicians, as we’ve already seen in this week’s review (surely the only AAA album actually written around...

Some artists just have no idea what their best work really is. One thing that amazes me as a collector is how consistently excellent many of the...

159) A (Not That) Short Guide To The 15 Best Non-AAA Bands

160) The Greatest AAA Drum Solos (Or Near Solos!)

161) AAA Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall Of Fame Acceptance Speeches

162) AAA Re-Recordings Of Past Songs

163) A Coalition Christmas (A Fairy Tale)

164) AAA Songs About Islands

165) The AAA Review Of The Year 2012

166) The Best AAA Concerts I Attended

167) Tributes To The 10 AAA Stars Who Died The Youngest

168) The First 10 AAA Songs Listed Alphabetically

171) The 10 Best Songs From The Psychedelia Box-Sets ‘Nuggets’ and ‘Nuggets Two’

172) The 20 Most Common Girl’s Names In AAA Song Titles (With Definitions) 

180) First Recordings By Future AAA Stars

185) A Tribute To Storm Thorgerson Via The Five AAA Bands He Worked With

188) Surprise! Celebrating 300 Album Reviews With The Biggest 'Surprises' Of The Past Five Years Of Alan's Album Archives!

190) Comparatively Obscure First Compositions By AAA Stars

193) Evolution Of A Band: Comparing First Lyric With Last Lyric:

200) The Monkees In Relation To Postmodernism (University Dissertation)

202) Carly Simon's 'You're So Vain': Was It About One Of The AAA Crew?

217) AAA 'Christmas Presents' we'd most like to have next year

221) Dr Who and the AAA (Five Musical Links)

222) Five Random Recent Purchases

223) AAA Grammy Nominees

224) Ten AAA songs that are better heard unedited and in full

225) The shortest gaps between AAA albums

226) The longest gaps between AAA albums

227) Top ten AAA drummers

228) Top Ten AAA Singles (In Terms of 'A' and 'B' Sides)

229) The Stories Behind Six AAA Logos

230) AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!! The Best Ten AAA Screams

231) An AAA Pack Of Horses

232) AAA Granamas - Sorry, Anagrams!

233) AAA Surnames and Their Meanings

234) 20 Erroneous AAA Album Titles

235) The Best AAA Orchestral Arrangements

236) Top 30 Hilariously Misheard Album Titles/Lyrics

237) Ten controversial AAA sackings - and whether they were right

238) A Critique On Critiquing - In Response To Brian Wilson

239) The Ten MusicianS Who've Played On The Most AAA Albums

240) Thoughts on #CameronMustGo

241) Random Recent Purchases (Kinks/Grateful Dead/Nils Lofgren/Rolling Stones/Hollies) 

242) AAA Christmas Number Ones 

243) AAA Review Of The Year 2014 (Top Releases/Re-issues/Documentaries/DVDs/Books/Songs/ Articles  plus worst releases of the year)

244) Me/CFS Awareness Week 2015

245) Why The Tory 2015 Victory Seems A Little...Suspicious

246) A Plea For Peace and Tolerance After The Attacks on Paris - and Syria

247) AAA Review Of The Year 2015

248) The Fifty Most Read AAA Articles (as of December 31st 2015)

249) The Revised AAA Crossword!

251) Half-A-Dozen Berries Plus One (An AAA Tribute To Chuck Berry)

252) Guest Post: ‘The Skids – Joy’ (1981) by Kenny Brown

254) Guest Post: ‘Supertramp – Some Things Never Change’ by Kenny Brown

255) AAA Review Of The Year 2018

256) AAA Review Of The Year 2019 plus Review Of The Decade 2010-2019

257) Tiermaker

258) #Coronastock

259) #Coronadocstock

No comments:

Post a Comment